Jeff Michael 

The Hugest man in bluegrass. He was born as the most talented musician alive, but every day he gets a tiny bit worse. At the Age of 6 his rendition of Malagueña rivaled that of Roy Clark's, but by age thirty, he could hardly play the lead to bluegrass special needs. He has attempted to play Mandolin, Guitar, Fiddle, Dobro, Banjo, Bass, Piano, Flute, and with himself and has never mastered the art of any besides the last as he cant get none. This is attributed to his constant drinking, smoking and choking down food, which made him about as fit as the average southern dude. He almost made it big several times, but was fired from every good band he joined, and ended up as the head of the New High Country Boys. his youtube channel is made up almost entirely of videos taken from other peoples channels and pornhub the gay version, and Oh yeah, and hes also really really really obese huge and screams when he sings because he is so cool and not gay.

Person 1. Man that was a great Bluegrass festival yesterday!
Person 2. Speak for yourself, I need ear cream since I can hardly hear
Person 1. Oh did you stay for Jeff Michael and the New High Country Boys set?
Person 2. Yeah, shit got me fucked up for life my Dr. Said
Person 1. Thats why he only gets crowds at VFW's where the audience are all old war vets who cant hear due to explosions during Iwo Jima

Jeff Michael by HugestManAlive August 1, 2022