Jackphil 

When a guy crushes on a radish he finds attractive and hence think is a good person because of some dumb "science"(physiognomy) then get a mental breakdown when his radish best friend(what historians say) turns out to be a serial killer and made his whole life a waste for it was spent researching that "science" utterly useless while the radish uses the "science" to evade the justice, manipulate him(erotically) and violently(also perhaps erotically) ruin his whole being.

Jack: My friend, I would like to let you know i'm actually a serial killer.
Philippe: But... but you don't look like one.
Jack: I will when I rearrange your organs.

Jackphil has the murderous homoeroticism you only see in 19th century novels.

Jackphil by IFeelLikeDrinkingWaterRightNow September 11, 2023

Jackphil 

Post 16 April 2nd Letter update:

When a guy is obsessed with a radish he thinks could be the perfect criminal he always dreamed of catching and killing and turning his corpse into a wax sculpture to display for his dead sister then goes insane trying to lure the radish(perhaps with his body) into committing a perfect crime to see if he is the perfect criminal that he fucks over the lives of 2 other people who are into justice because he has main character syndrome and believes he is the one true justice system person(who also carnally desires the Jack The Ripper the most) while the radish(Jack The Ripper) decided to fuck with him and hopefully fuck him too.

Philippe: Jack, coffee, tea or me?
Jack: Tea.
Philippe: I have the perfect modus operandi.
Jack: Im definitely rearranging some organs now.

Jackphil has the mutually murderous homoeroticism you only see in 19th century theatre productions.

Jackphil by IFeelLikeDrinkingWaterRightNow June 13, 2024

Jackphil 

Post 16 April 3rd letter update:
When a guy obsessed with a radish to the point of letting him into his room so they can discuss sinful things together late at night. Afterwards the radish arsenic poisons the t h i c c(forgive me for this outdated expression) clerk to death in the way she once did with her brother to troll her. Policemen are not working a real job, they can't hold trials and are married to procedural justice, so they are not respectable, the physiognomist thinks to himself. But at this point he's better off working with one because the radish might troll them too, and the radish is Jack The Ripper, so whatever trolling the radish will do won't be too fun for them.

Unless...the teamwork was a lie! Reporting back after the next 16 April! Signing off and yours truly, um... I'll think of a signature next time.

Jack: Actually, you know what, Philippe, Don't you think the human body is also a work of art worth exploring?
Philippe: Are you implying that you are interested in rearranging my organs?
Jack: Its getting late and I have something else to attend to, maybe next time?
*Few Hours Later*
Philippe(Writing a letter to Edmund):

Roses are red
The suspect entered my room under the guise of discussing art
Keigan's now dead
Cause we both fucked up.
...
P.s. especially you though

Jackphil has the mutually murderous homoeroticism affecting each other and afflicting others you only see in 19th century novels.

Jackphil by IFeelLikeDrinkingWaterRightNow May 15, 2025

Jackophile 

Someone who is any or all of the following:
Gay for Captain Jack Sparrow
Obsessed with Jack
Completely obsessed with Jack
Is more than twice as old as Jack yet wants it … (Kraken)
Or is aroused by Jack the Monkey

"I can repeat every line Captain Jack has ever said and I've watched all three movies at least 100 times."

"...dude, that guy is a complete Jackophile."

Jackophile by Skye Daemon March 22, 2009