Jackoffphilia 

1. The continuing habit of jerking/jacking off until you have 1 sperm left that you will save for when you are stranded in the middle of the ocean (for protein).

2. Professionalism in masturbating, using professional tools or just a karate technique.

- "Jack is such a Jackoffphile, My uncle works in facebook and he says Jack has my timeline as his homepage" - Emily

- A man entered an Italian deli and ordered spaghetti and meatballs, as the waiter left, he began to scuff the meatballs and widdle the spaghetti, He is later diagnosed with level 5 Jackoffphilia and had to seek medication.

- "You should try to surprise yourself every now and then, try taking classes, I know some good Jackoffphilics that would love to help!"

Jackoffphilia by Masturphile July 9, 2016

Jackoffphobia 

Fear of people who masturbate privately or publicly with their hands or any other tool.
(beating their meat, waddling their widdle, scuffing their meatballs, rubbing the mouse hole)

1. "Emily stop being Jackoffphoic! We all know you used to do it!" - Emily's friend

2. The man walked into an Italian deli, he saw that a black man was wanking his spaghetti and he ran away, the man thought he was racist, when he was jackoffphobic, sorry tyrone.

3. A man watched Tom And Jerry and saw that Tom was sticking his fist into the Jerry's mouse hole (in the wall) and switched the TV off running away from the house, this man is experiencing jackoffphobia.

Jackoffphobia by Masturphile July 9, 2016