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Negative Reality Inversion 

A Negative Reality Inversion (NRI) a term originating from the series "The Young Ones" and is actually technobabble.

A Reality Inversion would be the symmetrical inversion of reality. Making it negative would actually cancel it out, leaving you with reality.
NEIL: Anybody watching that must've thought it was a negative reality inversion.

*A man and woman are making out in the shadows
WOMAN: Cor, that looked just like a negative reality inversion, didn't it?
MAN: Yes, it did, a bit.

*They turn their attention back to each other
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ANAL-CRANIAL INVERSION SYNDROME  

A chronic condition by which the physical connections between the buttocks and head are reversed, causing fecal material to spew from the mouth. Conventional treatments include wiring the jaws shut or the prompt use of a gag ball.

ACIS is more harmful to those coming in contact with the ACIS person than the ACIS person him/herself. Even casual contact results in looks of disbelief, screaming and the uncontrolable urge to place one's hands over one's ears and yell "Make it stop". Family and friends living with an ACIS patient are advised to wear ear plugs, or in more extreme cases, to drive shiskabob spears through their ears.

Not to be confused with having Head-Up-Assitisis or Asshatoses.
President Bush displayed symptoms of Anal-Cranial Inversion Syndrome at his last interview when he spoke about his legacy.

cranial rectal inversion 

The act of having your head up your ass.
"Are you really that stupid? You must be suffering from a cranial rectal inversion. What a dumb-ass."

craniorectal inversion 

A condition in which a person has their head stuck up their ass.
"He's such a dipshit. He suffers from craniorectal inversion."

Scottish Inventions 

There is a saying in Scotland ,"Wha's Like Us?", which means Who Compares? Below is a Brief summary of Genius from our small Nation, Although Factual it should be read with tongue in Cheek Especially if you are English.

The average Englishman in the home he call his castle slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh (Mac)from Glasgow, Scotland.
En-route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam (Tar Macadam)of Ayr, Scotland.
He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop,(DUNLOP Tyres) Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.
During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.
He watches the news on television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.
Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.
He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorized its translation.
He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world Whisky.
He could take a rifle and end it all, but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.
If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and given chloroform, an anesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask:

"Wha's Like Us"
Scottish Inventions? "Wha's Like Us?

craniorectal inversion 

A state of being usually adopted by middle management types whereby one's head is inserted into one's own arse. Considered to be quite an accomplishment by middle management types, given that their heads are at the same time permanently stuck in the respective arses of upper management types.
Psychologist: "The patient appears to be suffering from a chronic case of craniorectal inversion. What does he do for a living?"
Psych ward Nurse: "He's the manager of the Hospital's Human Relations team. He answers to the Director."
Psychologist: "Say no more."

rectocranial inversion 

Having your head up your ass.
I had a bad case of rectocranial inversion when I did that.