Someone who is only attracted to the opposite sex, except when individuals have amazing abs.
All genders can be heterabsexual.
It is common for heterabsexuality to develop later in life, particular after exposure to certain types of abs. Further research is required to understand this sexual orientation more fully.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.