Haynesitarianism is a religion based upon the service and repair manual of any given automobile. A person who practices this religion is known as a Haynesitarian. This religion takes its namesake from the most famous maker of service and repair manuals, Haynes.
Unlike other religous texts, Haynesitarian scripture does not condem people for their lifestyle choices. Nor does it contain anything about flooding the planet and repopulating it via incest or some magic carpenter who died from being nailed to a large piece of wood (bet he didn't see that coming). Instead, Haynesitarian scripture offers practical advice such as 'how to replace the power steering servo on a 1989 Jaguar XJ6'.
Example of Haynesitarian scripture:
"To adjust thy cable, fully depress thy accelerator pedal and check that thy throttle is fully opened."
~Haynes 4:6.7
Unlike other religous texts, Haynesitarian scripture does not condem people for their lifestyle choices. Nor does it contain anything about flooding the planet and repopulating it via incest or some magic carpenter who died from being nailed to a large piece of wood (bet he didn't see that coming). Instead, Haynesitarian scripture offers practical advice such as 'how to replace the power steering servo on a 1989 Jaguar XJ6'.
Example of Haynesitarian scripture:
"To adjust thy cable, fully depress thy accelerator pedal and check that thy throttle is fully opened."
~Haynes 4:6.7
He was converted to Haynesitarianism when he read the service and repair manual for a 1989 Jaguar XJ6.
by Albino Kiwiaboo April 26, 2023