A legendary, well-seasoned human who has transcended the age of retirement and entered the rare realm of "collecting social security in three different centuries." Easily identified by her battle-hardened Life Alert necklace (worn like a war medal), a walker outfitted with tennis balls so fresh they smell like Wimbledon, and a subscription service that delivers said balls monthly—because style and traction matter when you're cruising at 0.3 mph. May spontaneously break into tales that begin with "Back in my day..." and end three hours later with a Werther’s Original.
by iiNTenSiiFy September 02, 2025
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