Hairpochondriac

When a man in his late 20's/early 30's thinks he is going bald.

"I swear my hairline never used to be this far back. Is my crown thinning? I don't want an egg in a nest"

"I wont suit bald, my head is a weird shape. Does this mean I have to grow a beard now?!"

"hey man quit being a hairpochondriac, it's not even that bad"

Hairpochondriac by Itisiphillsutton July 9, 2020

hippochondriac 

A fat person possessing an excessive preoccupation with
personal health issues, with the exception of their own obesity.

First he's worried about having a sore throat. Then his heart
is beating too fast. Next he's worried that his headache
won't go away. Maybe the hippochondriac should stop
worrying about everything else, and start worrying about
weighing over 300 pounds.

hippochondriac by goldandsilverowner August 11, 2010

Hippochondriac 

Someone who has an irrational fear of losing at Hungry Hungry Hippos

Tom: I'm bored. You guys wanna play a board game or something. How about Hungry Hungry Hippos?
Sean: We can't. John's a Hippochondriac, he flipped the table the last time we played

Hippochondriac by OutToLunch Podcast July 22, 2016

harpochondriac 

A person who fears everything in life is a joke.

Nothing is serious to a harpochondriac like Penelope, who finds endless cruel jokes in everyday life.

harpochondriac by echolaliababy October 25, 2009