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harem-scare 'em 

A group of witches that a guy keeps as romantic partners.
A guy would hafta be pretty desperate for romance to want a harem-scare 'em of old wrinkly hags.
harem-scare 'em by QuacksO October 23, 2020

hairemscarem 

Wait until your friend passes out drunk, fill his hand with Krazy Glue, and throw a big bunch of hair into it that you collected from your barbershop floor and saved in a bag in your trunk for just such an occasion.
"My roommate in college used to masterbate constantly whenever I left the room. I taught him the meaning of 'common area'; I gave him the old hairemscarem."