Gold Card Hippie 

A rich person who thinks he or she is a hippie. A phony. They have hippie tendencies but always include modifications to ensure comfort and please their rich tastes. For instance, a Gold Card Hippie will only go to a Grateful Dead show if there is assigned seating and they have the most expensive seats and wear nicely pressed tie dyed shirts (which they only break out once a year) and try to dress like they don’t care with clothing from the most expensive designers. They generally can be seen at coffee houses drinking seven dollar coffee while surfing their incredibly expensive lap tops. They can also be seen at Whole Foods rudely blocking the food bar spending tremendous amounts of money on salads.

I went camping with Chad last weekend, that Gold Card Hippie brought an air mattress, his Wall Street Journal and a generator to power an air conditioner for the tent. I was so sickened by him, I gave him an Alabama Alarm Clock.

Gold Card Hippie by Big Fizz March 31, 2010