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Furlough Syndrome 

Similar to the effects of Stockholm Syndrome

This describes people who have been put on furlough that now face the grim prospect of returning to work after months of government funded drinking but would rather not.

Now people are becoming accustomed to their new way of life of being paid to be philosophical and wake up in the mid afternoon their dreams are shattered at there boss phones to say we’re open again and you’ll have to earn your money. This call would have been welcomed in the before times instead of redundancy , but now you’ve had the greener grass, you’d rather stay home with your family and maybe have a go on the washing up.

For the last few weeks the most taxing thing that’s happened is an awkward handover from a food delivery driver, almost like they were handing over a primed dirty bomb, once the box is inside and had a quick going over with some antibac your laughing.

Sadly this greener grass is wilting though and the treasury is out of cash to keep it going. You need to cut your own hair to look reasonable and order some overpriced masks to protect yourself and head out on an expedition to the office (insert soiling sound)

Stay safe
Worker 1: Garry not coming back to work then?

Worker 2: No, he got Furlough Syndrome and couldn’t face coming back. He’s on universal credit until he feels “less stressed..... and sober”
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