Fatlexia

when you misread something and think it's about food

"Sorry I couldn't help you with that--I had 5 fires"
*Misread as fries. "You had fries?"
"No, I said Fires. Your fatlexia is acting up again."

Fatlexia by DJDiabla January 18, 2018

fatlaxia

n. A form of eating disorder in which one eats every available source of food and then immediately injects a laxative serum directly into the carotid artery and prays for an early, painless death.

1. Johnny locked himself in Uncle Ted's Y2K shelter with several cartons of Hostess' Ho-Ho's and a syringe because he was a fatlaxic.

2. Claire, after being broken up with for the seventh time that year, succumbed to her ritual of gorging herself while her roommate, Helen, was in class. Claire hid this obsession for fear Helen would discover her closeted fatlaxia syndrome.

3. George invited his buddy Rick Richardson over for afternoon tea and after Rick arrived George proceeded to force feed tea cake and crumpets down Rick's throat before injecting laxative into his carotid artery. This process is known as fatlaxing.

4. George, after being admitted to the hospital, was pronounced DOA (dead on arrival). The coroner, after cleaning the human filth off George's body, concluded that the cause of death was in fact, "death by fatlaxation".

fatlaxia by Ku Klux Klancy McCartney December 31, 2008