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A woman who’s presence could warm a thousand Earths. Without effort, she fascinates your soul. Her cheerful and playful nature animates all that are fortunate enough to encounter her. She is always a best friend. Her capacity for love is endless; she personifies heaven. She is sweet as bliss and all attempts at expressing her startling beauty are unsatisfying. Her goodness creates a desire in you to fix all the world’s problems so she can live a safe and happy life where no harm could ever come upon her. If you ever meet a Fairlane, you have been blessed with a rare and precious gift.
In this life or any other, there will never be another like my Fairlane.
Fairlane by heaven1on1earth December 5, 2012

fairbanksed 

burnt down; was the subject of arson

in memory of four Fairbanks coffee carts which were burned down on the same day in 2017 at UC San Diego
There was a bigass spider in my room, so I fairbanksed the place.

The chancellor's mansion got fairbanksed last week, rip.
fairbanksed by trising April 18, 2017

fairly athletic quails 

also known as frequently asked questions. twenty one pilot fans understand.
"People think that it means, 'frequently asked questions', but its actually, 'fairly athletic quails'" -Tyler Joseph
fairly athletic quails by Gibb Gibb February 14, 2018

fairfax school 

A shite place where the male teachers look up girls skirts. The teachers go mad at you for no FUCKING reason even tho all you did was say I wasn't talking. All the teachers are shite and need help apart from Mr larkin. He's safe. All the six formers smoke round the back of g block and the yr 7s think there hard. The girls roll their skirts up because their slash and the boys dont even FUCKING care. Mrs bun is a fat slag who need to get a life and Mr Clarke needs to learn how to dress modern. All together its a shit school which I hope burns to the ground
Girl: can I go fairfax school?
Mom: no you little shit that school is terrible. The music teacher likes kids more than his wife.

Fairfax Fudgsicle 

The insertion of a feces-covered phallic object into a person's mouth. There are three roles involved in this act: a penetrator, a supplier of feces, and a recipient of the feces-covered phallic object. The roles can be independent, but a given individual can also fill multiple roles.
Since you were so nice and took me to Buca di Beppo, I have been packing in a little treat for ya. Get ready for a Fairfax Fudgsicle for dessert.

Fairly EvenParents 

Plain and simple: a parody of the TV cartoon title, "Fairly OddParents".
Timmy is an unaverage boy,
That everyone understands
Mom and Dad and VickI never giving him commands.

VickI: BARIUM ENEMA, BABY FAG!!!

Doom and gloom up in his room,
Is never broken instantly,
By his magic big elephants who deny his every wish,
Cause in reality they are his Even Parents, Fairly EvenParents
Wanda: Douches & enemas!
Cosmo: Massengill & Fleet!

Even Parents, Fairly EvenParents,
Real even, pee Steven, buff bod, hot rod,
Timmy: Obtuse, mother goose, mongoose, guava juice,
Giant snake, birthday cake, small french fries, strawberry milkshake!!!

Even Parents, Fairly EvenParents,
It doesn't make you mild when you're a child with Fairly EvenParents!

Vicky: No wrong.
Fairly EvenParents by Telephony February 19, 2015