Eastern University 

A small, private, Christian university located in the affluent suburbs of Philadelphia, the "main line". Here, students are taught to love the poor and the oppressed as part of the core curriculum. A bit pretentious at times, but altogether a lovely gathering of liberal Christians trying to find their place in the world.

Eastern University

Eastern University by Lauren Bloom March 4, 2009

eastern university 

a small, Christian university on Philadelphia's Main Line. Students that attend Eastern are either hard-core Christians, athletes, alcoholics or are both athletes and alcoholics. You'll meet your best friends here but will also meet psychopaths too. While attending EU you will either develop a fear of geese or will chase them across campus. You also might begin to develop a superiority complex if you start to attend Christian things (aka Wednesday Night Worship). Overall pretty liberal as far as Christian schools go but living in the dorms is a lot like living with your parents. Open door policy & no alcohol. But, given the fact there are 5 liquor stores within 5 miles of EU, a nice backpack will get you past the RAs who could not give less of a fuck and are probably drunk themselves. Since Villanova is 10 minutes away a lot of EU students also self-identify as Nova basketball fans even though they have no fucking clue what the rules are.

"I go to Eastern University." "Where the heck is that?" "Oh, it's on the Main Line. I basically go to Villanova. #GoCats"

eastern university by average christian December 16, 2020

eastern university 

A mid sized baptist college in south eastern pennsylvania that doesn't have students, but pods. eastern kids think that their shit doesn't stink and think they are holier than anyone else in the state. since they are so perfect, none of the students smoke pot, but go across the road to cabrini to get high. generally low class, eastern thinks they're hot shit in a champagne glass, but are really cold diarrhea in a dixie cup.

girl one: why does campus smell so bad?
boy one: oh, must be the pot heads from eastern university sneaking on campus again!

eastern university by phishingnet May 16, 2010

Eastern Illinois University 

A reasonably priced college located in Charleston (aka Chucktown, Illinois. This university began as a teachers' college and has since grown to include a wide variety of majors. It takes a maximum of 20 minutes (if you are slow) to walk from any one given point on campus to another.

However, the only other thing in Charleston is Wal-Mart. Because of this, there is a distinct lack of things to do in Charleston other than party or sit around doing nothing.

"I will be attending Eastern Illinois University next fall and majoring in Secondary Education...but everyone knows I'll be partying every night!"

Eastern Illinois University by HarukoChanX September 29, 2005

Eastern Kentucky University 

Located in Richmond KY, this is the nation's premier Law Enforcement, Emergency Medical Care, Assets Protection and Security college in the world. The Kentucky Department of Criminal Justice Training is situated on Eastern's campus, along with Kentucky State Police post 7. This college is the Yale/Harvard/Princeton/Stanford of those wishing to enter into a career for law enforcement.

1. Man, I found out I wasn't man enough to become a police officer while persuing a degree at Eastern Kentucky University, so I decided to go to the University of Kentucky for a liberal philosophy degree.

Eastern Kentucky University by Jim Black May 11, 2006

Eastern Michigan University 

A "second tier" public university in Ypsilanti, Michigan, Eastern Michigan University (EMU) is renowned as the number one producer of quality K-12 educators in the midwest. EMU also boasts excellent nursing, educational leadership, art, graphic design, dietetics and health administration programs, as well as most standard baccalaureate degrees. Eastern is also home to the most robust online education program of any four-year institution in Michigan, and possibly the midwest. EMU has an average enrollment of 23,000 students.

Despite its prestige in certain areas of study, the current university administration is intent on running any semblance of academic development into the ground by investing in a doomed division I football program, trading academics for (unlikely) success in the athletic arena. Recommended that you avoid until the board of regents gets their head out of their ass and realizes that Eagle football doesn't mean shit to anyone at EMU, let alone prospective students.

School principal: "I see here you were educated and certified at Eastern Michigan University. You're hired!"

EMU Grad: "Sweet!"

Eastern Michigan University by EMUROX August 22, 2011

eastern oregon university 

A place that wants to be a university desperately but fails at every level. Set in a town far far away where everything closes and nothing is open. This place will do anything to lure you there. The weekends seem like a scene from 28 days later. People like football and Trump. If the taco bell (10 minutes away) wasn`t open sometimes, people will start killing each other.

I can`t remember if I was walking around Eastern Oregon University or watching the shining. I should`ve pinched myself.

eastern oregon university by elviaje26 November 26, 2016