Eastern 

Domain: Eukaryota
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Diablo
Genus: Satan
Species: S. Easternus

- Chinese teen
- fringe with minimum length of 8cm
- dyed hair (with at least 8 colours usually gold or red)
- standard repertoire of words/phrases are: "cheebye, lanjiao, kannina, hong gan, pcc. These words/phrases are usually repeated in a cycle right after they have nothing else to say
- habitat: Singapore, usually found outside McDonald's, live in packs
- female members of the species have a very high voice frequency
- performs religious rituals to the song "hokkien speeding"
Warnings:
- do not make prolonged eye contact or else they will, as they like to say, "hoot" you
- However, if you do not make any eye contact they will think that you are, as they like to say, "daoing" them and proceed to "hoot" you.

guy 1: i met a guy worse than satan today
guy 2: and who would that be?
guy 1: eastern satans

Eastern: "kannina cheebye, lan jaio, hong gan, bu shuang lai hoot, wo jiao wo de bladde lai hoot ni, kannina, cheebye, lan jiao hong gan. kannina cheebye, lan jaio, hong gan, bu shuang lai hoot, wo jiao wo de bladde lai hoot ni, kannina, cheebye, lan jiao hong gan.kannina cheebye, lan jaio, hong gan, bu shuang lai hoot, wo jiao wo de bladde lai hoot ni, kannina, cheebye, lan jiao hong gan.kannina cheebye, lan jaio, hong gan, bu shuang lai hoot, wo jiao wo de bladde lai hoot ni, kannina, cheebye, lan jiao hong gan.kannina cheebye, lan jaio, hong gan, bu shuang lai hoot, wo jiao wo de bladde lai hoot ni, kannina, cheebye, lan jiao hong gan.kannina cheebye, lan jaio, hong gan, bu shuang lai hoot, wo jiao wo de bladde lai hoot ni, kannina, cheebye, lan jiao hong gan."

Eastern by Depressed, indeed September 28, 2008

Eastern European Card Draw 

A bogus drinking card game you play with a group and target an unsuspecting person. The whole time you (and your accomplices) work to make the subject drink as much as possible. Goal is to see how far you can push without letting them discover that there is no actual structure to the rules and they always seem to have to drink.

Examples of how Eastern European Card Draw plays out:

"Guess this card"
"Seven of Diamonds?"
"It is a Diamond, but it's a nine. And since it is Wednesday you must drink eleven sips."

"Guess this card"
"Six of Hearts"
"It's a ten of Clubs, ten minus six is four but multiply by a factor of three because you're drinking a light beer. So drink twelve."

"Guess this card"
"Ace of Hearts"
"You got it! Everyone else drink one."

Eastern European Card Draw by Bill Murray (really?) October 14, 2013

Eastern Tech 

A school that's so completely overrated. Everyone in middle school wants to go there and act like getting in determines the fate of your life. The people that got in just assume they are better than you (I would know, I am one). But the entry test was literally about basic 6th grade geometry so you'll pass if you're not too white or too black. despite what people say, it's only a little bit more workload. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has at least a few friends. Cliques? Hell yeah. Sluts/Jocks, Ghetto/Rachet, Smart, AP, Non AP, and probably the biggest one, filipinos. Jesus Christ might as well put a jollibee in this bitch. You will likely date a a Filipino, but it's ok, they are fine as fuck. You may have trouble finding your clique, but you'll get there, and may even fall into a couple. Teachers are assholes, no matter what you've heard. To teachers, if you're not in AP, you will be homeless. Rarely any fights, the people that talk shit are too white to do anything else. If you make a name for yourself, you will thrive. Pick your friends wisely, and just a heads up, Asian friends are the best. Oh yeah, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL. Want to try out for the soccer team? You'll probably get in, which means nothing though. No teacher or principle or guidance counselor will understand your problems, which is why I put even more emphasis on making good friends. The magnets are pretty ok, but unless you do IT or engineering, you mean nothing. Good luck!

Kid 1: you go to eastern tech?

Kid 2: yeah
Kid 1: I'm so sorry. But also, fuck you.

Eastern Tech by Probably smarter than you August 5, 2017

Eastern Monkey Spanking 

The act of slipping your hand inside of her Asscrack and wobbling it all around until she takes a massive shit on your hand.

Jenna: Daddy Eastern Monkey Spank me!
Tom: Hold on Sommer Ray posted a booty pic!
Jenna: Fine all come to you

Tom: Eastern Monkey spank me first!
Jenna: You FAGWAG!
That is eastern Monkey spanking

Eastern Monkey Spanking by Meditation Papi March 14, 2019

Eastern New Mexico University 

One of the most profoundly depressing colleges in the United States. It is 400 miles west of Dallas, and 200 miles east of Albuquerque. Yes, those are the two closest notable cities. To get in, a 14 on the ACT is required, yet many students receive waivers with some scoring as low as an 8. Just for context, putting down "C" as every answer on the ACT will yield an 11. If one were to randomly spill ink on the ACT, they would still outscore the average ENMU student.
This college is for people who wouldn't be going to college 20 years ago.

Hey, you also go to Eastern New Mexico University? I'm glad we can both agree that there is no better smell than manure and rural poverty in the morning!

Eastern New Mexico University by New Mexican May 31, 2018

Eastern Illinois University 

A reasonably priced college located in Charleston (aka Chucktown, Illinois. This university began as a teachers' college and has since grown to include a wide variety of majors. It takes a maximum of 20 minutes (if you are slow) to walk from any one given point on campus to another.

However, the only other thing in Charleston is Wal-Mart. Because of this, there is a distinct lack of things to do in Charleston other than party or sit around doing nothing.

"I will be attending Eastern Illinois University next fall and majoring in Secondary Education...but everyone knows I'll be partying every night!"

Eastern Illinois University by HarukoChanX September 29, 2005

Eastern oregon 

Eastern Oregon is defined by the Cascade Mountains that roughly divide Oregon in half, in more than one sense. Past the rain shadowing mountains lies a nearly endless high desert. The state is not only divided geographically, but politically, economically, and culturally. Past the Cascades, Oregon becomes more of a cowboy country. People wear guns on their hips and drive diesel pickup trucks. Most tend to vote on the more conservative ballot. Agriculture dominates the local economy, not excluding logging and small amounts of copper and tin mining.
The local landscapes includes sea's of bunch grasses, sage brush, and hilly to mountainous terrain. Mule deer and coyotes roam free, just as most everything does around there. The "first city" of Eastern Oregon is considered Bend Oregon.

(Western Oregonian):"Dude, have you been out to Eastern Oregon? It's like real different from this place. It's all dry and desert like. Everyone has a gun, and the hills were epic!"

Eastern oregon by Deltasword March 5, 2012