A vampire who is soaking wet. With rain, or regular water, cause holy water, of course, would kill them. Being technically already dead, a vampire can't catch a cold from being wet, but it still sucks.
Mavis: "Look at this!!! i am soaked to the fangs!!! What do you call a vampire who is soaking wet?"
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'