A condition caused by living, or being raised, in Downey, CA. Sufferers who grew up in Downey and have since moved away will experience profound
feelings of unsubstantiated nostalgia about their childhood home and
may suffer from the delusion that Downey is a great place to live; while the afflicted who currently reside in Downey will display extreme frustration, confusion and
despair, interspersed with periods of complete denial ("I'm probably going to move to Orange County next year.") Those who grew up in Downey and still live there are the most severely affected as they continually battle conflicting feelings of sentimentality and condemnation.
Symptoms include: a tendency to inadvertently blurt, "Go Bears!" or "Go Ducks!" (depending on whether they attended, Warren High
School or Downey High
School) whenever the word Downey is used, regardless of the context ("Did you want to go see the new Robert Downey, Jr. movie?" "Go Bears!" "No, Iron Man."); an inability to control the impulse to compare all foods to that served at El Taco; an inexplicable need to mention that Karen Carpenter was also from Downey (followed by
deep shame at their lack of control and
anxiety that
people will assume they like The Carpenters) and feelings of superiority over those who reside in
Bell Gardens, Pico Rivera, Paramount and Lynwood based on the misperception that Downey is somehow less ghetto.
Bob: So you're from Paramount?
Jack: Hell no! Do I look like I'm from Paramount? I'm from Downey!
Bob: What? Like somehow being from Downey is better than . . .
Lori: Shhhhhhhh . . . he can't help it. He has Downey Syndrome.
Bob: Oh. Sorry big guy. Go Bears!
Jack: (clapping hands and laughing) Yay!