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Don't Be Jesus

A phrase, mostly used by friends and concerned lovers, to express a feeling of unease over one's current path of action, on the intuition that this path may lead to a violent end, sometimes but not exclusively by crucificationism.

Also can refer to acute messianic megalomania
Guy 1: Dude, I'm totally gonna go piss off those Roman soldiers by pretending to be the Messiah!
Guy 2: Don't be Jesus, man.

Guy 3: I CAN HEAL THE BLIND!!!1!
Guy 4: Whoa whoa, don't be Jesus now.
by Tepea March 15, 2011
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Don't Try Me. Try Jesus

A phrase, believed to have originated from the urban innards of society, that is uttered as a reminder to the offender that they will get read for filth or experience total annihilation when they try you. A stark reminder that you're better off trying Jesus, "but don't try my patience!"
Offender: "damn. You's a straight bitch! How you gonna leave an empty ass box of frosted flakes in the cabinet"

Me: "no job having ass complaining about not having any cereal! Get your broke ass up and go get a job so you can buy your punk ass cereal! Don't try me. Try Jesus!"
by GG Allin August 29, 2021
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