Dick, Shit Tampon 

When your girl is on her period you can use the "Dick Shit Tampon" as an alternative to costly pads and stuff. Make sure you have a lot of fiber in your diet because firm shits work best. First, you fuck her for a little bit to get her pussy opened up and the juices flowing (if your dick is smaller than your shit you may choose to use a dildo to begin the lubrication and widening process). You can then cum in her for good measure (optional, but highly recommended). After this, you proceed to line up your asshole with her gaping cunt and slowly ease in your "Shit Tampon". This will save you the outrageous cost of stupid feminine products and the embarrassment of walking through the store with them. If you are eating regularly, you can replace the tampons often which is good for hygiene. It is recommended that you change the tampon daily, or every other day if she's being a bitch about it.

Your Lady: "Honey, will you go to the store and get me some tampons?"

You: "Come on, bitch, I'm not going to the store. Relax and I'll give you a 'Dick, Shit Tampon'."

Your Lady: "Great idea! You know, 'Dick, Shit Tampons' are more absorbent than other leading brand tampons."

Dick, Shit Tampon by Chommer Commanche April 5, 2009