In crew, the small person who controls every action of rowers. Although some people would call them omnipotent gods onboard shells, they're content to be called coxswains. This person is generally more intelligent, capable, and assertive than the dumb cows pulling oars. Although the coxswain, by nature of their size and immense intellectual power, is prone to badgering and physical abuse by the much larger rowers, their job is undeniably much more crucial. Coxswains have the power to get rowers to do pretty much whatever they want, through the clever combination of coercion and being able to transition from urgent whispering to drill sergeant barking to demon-like screeching from the depths of hell.
Coxswains, thankfully for the rowers, generally use their power for good rather than evil. This rule is broken, however, during the dreaded 2k erg test, during which the coxswain attempts to remove any incentive a rower has for living. Neglecting this 6-7 minute thrust into the bloody bowels of hell, coxswains are pretty chill.
Coxswains, thankfully for the rowers, generally use their power for good rather than evil. This rule is broken, however, during the dreaded 2k erg test, during which the coxswain attempts to remove any incentive a rower has for living. Neglecting this 6-7 minute thrust into the bloody bowels of hell, coxswains are pretty chill.
Andrew: I heard you joined the crew team, but you're only 4'9, how is that possible?
Becky: I am the coxswain.
Andrew: Oh sorry I didn't realize. By the way, you're looking lovely today. Would you like something to drink? How about some money, or my first born child? Just don't make me row.
Becky: I am the coxswain.
Andrew: Oh sorry I didn't realize. By the way, you're looking lovely today. Would you like something to drink? How about some money, or my first born child? Just don't make me row.
by MCox April 28, 2010
The small and assertive voice of reason and motivation in a rowing shell. Coxswains are the brains of the boat, and are crucial to the success of the crew. Coxswains are prone to having a bit of a Napoleon complex while at practice, but are otherwise complete individual people. They are often mocked for their small stature, but this does not bother them too much. Good coxswains command respect and have rowers who trust in them completely. Coxswains often get a bad rep for facilitating the dreaded 2k erg test, and their loyalty to their coaches word. Generally, coxswains are well-rounded people who you probably want to stay on the good side of.
by l2a1n3e3 April 25, 2017
by Scrolly June 14, 2017
by BentistCT September 28, 2021
An "athlete" who in the sport of rowing is the weakest person with the loudest voice and the most control over the situation.
All coxswian have a MAJOR NAPOLEON COMPLEX
For some reason they are always cold, even when the sun is shining and their rowers are shirtless, a Coxswain are bundled up in 3 jackets and a rain coat.
The coxswain has no clue about how to row, but they still critique rowers.
As soon as the rowers set down the boat the dynamic changes and the Coxswain looses all power
All coxswian have a MAJOR NAPOLEON COMPLEX
For some reason they are always cold, even when the sun is shining and their rowers are shirtless, a Coxswain are bundled up in 3 jackets and a rain coat.
The coxswain has no clue about how to row, but they still critique rowers.
As soon as the rowers set down the boat the dynamic changes and the Coxswain looses all power
I got to go, my coxswain will be a little shit if I am late.
If my coxswian calls another power 10 I am going to die, then their screaming will bring me back life
If my coxswian calls another power 10 I am going to die, then their screaming will bring me back life
by ClemsonCox February 03, 2017
A very very smooth man with the ladies. A man who smells as good as he looks and looks as good as he thinks he does. A ladies man.
by Camplushate July 05, 2013
noun. the very tiny yet powerful person that steers and directs their boat on a crew team.
the coxswain is the embodiment of their coach, often referred to as the "coaches' minion". they have a weird relationship with their coach that doesn't exist between rowers and coaches. coxswains out in the real world can be identified by a peculiar tan line in the middle of their forehead from the nk strap attached to their coxbox, a device that amplifies their already incredibly loud voice in the boat. also sometimes called a "little tyrant", coxswains are in control of everything that happens in and around their boat. unfortunately, this means they must also take complete responsibility for any damage to the boat, even if it isn't their fault. a good coxswain can make their boat move faster than that boat is generally physically able to move. don't ask how, its a coxswain secret. another trait of a talented coxswain is to be able to criticize/fix tech in the boat without rudely calling people out. coxswains of opposing teams are often seen glaring at eachother when they are even or close in a race.
when not directly coxing, coxswains can be some of the sweetest people in the world.
the coxswain is the embodiment of their coach, often referred to as the "coaches' minion". they have a weird relationship with their coach that doesn't exist between rowers and coaches. coxswains out in the real world can be identified by a peculiar tan line in the middle of their forehead from the nk strap attached to their coxbox, a device that amplifies their already incredibly loud voice in the boat. also sometimes called a "little tyrant", coxswains are in control of everything that happens in and around their boat. unfortunately, this means they must also take complete responsibility for any damage to the boat, even if it isn't their fault. a good coxswain can make their boat move faster than that boat is generally physically able to move. don't ask how, its a coxswain secret. another trait of a talented coxswain is to be able to criticize/fix tech in the boat without rudely calling people out. coxswains of opposing teams are often seen glaring at eachother when they are even or close in a race.
when not directly coxing, coxswains can be some of the sweetest people in the world.
spectator 1: "dude did you hear that coxswain?"
spectator 2: "yeah! she was so motivational in that last 250!"
spectator 1: "i know! her boat jumped 6 seats during that second 10!"
spectator 2: "she can cox my boat any day."
spectator 2: "yeah! she was so motivational in that last 250!"
spectator 1: "i know! her boat jumped 6 seats during that second 10!"
spectator 2: "she can cox my boat any day."
by Minion 1 May 26, 2013