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concraptions 

When you really need to take a dump so much that it feels like you've gone into labour.
Man, I've got concraptions really bad. If I don't go take a dump soon, I'm gonna give birth to a brown brick.
concraptions by boyward December 29, 2008

contraption adaption 

1) The period of time needed to familiarize oneself with a new electronic device.
2) Often, a period of extreme anxiety and frustration stemming from one's need to learn a lot of technical information in a short to non-existent period of time.
1) "I'm sorry, Joe. I won't be in to work today. I'm exhausted from staying up all night learning how to use my new i-phone and am suffering this morning from a bad case of contraption adaption."

2) "I'm now limiting my persuit of new e-toys to only those gadgets with a low level of contraption adaption."

3) The salesguy said: "If you buy this new Mac laptop today, I guarantee you'll start using it today." "Yeah, sure", I said. "I'll BET there's no contraption adaption for THIS machine!"

concraption 

A poorly designed device, often impractical and/or ineffective.
Look at that concraption holding his muffler on. That bungee cord will melt in no time!
concraption by jackdh4x0r December 28, 2005

Premature ventricular contractions 

When your heart skips a beat. Usually because of a person you are interested in.
I like that boy so much. He gives me premature ventricular contractions everytime I see him.

poop contractions 

When you've been harboring a major cable so long that your body starts to forcibly reject it, giving you the feelings of contractions in your anus. Often accompanied by ass sweat, and anal convulsions.
Man I've been holding off on dropping this bad boy off so long, I'm starting to have poop contractions!
poop contractions by rockerdon666 December 4, 2009

poo contractions 

An overwhelming sense of pain, panic, cramping, and cold sweats that sweeps over someone when they are about to have diarrhea...especially if they are forced to hold it longer than they need to.

The feeling comes and goes, but gradually increases in frequency...like when women give birth...but this time you are giving birth to a giant wet shit.
Jeff's poo contractions became stronger and more intense as he searched for a clean public bathroom. Thankfully, his sphincter was strong and held back the flow.