Citizenise

Cit-i-zen-ise {sit-uh-zuh n-ahyz} verb: the act of supporting local businesses, entrepreneurs and creative individuals.

"Our company needs to citizenise and buy more from ..."

Citizenise by Citizenise May 5, 2013

Citizens United 

Bullshit name of an election campaign committee that convinced the Supreme Court to allow corporations decide who wins and who loses federal elections.

Obama State of Union Address mentioned Citizens United with an "in your face" to the Supreme Court. Justice Alito visibly disagreed.

Citizens United is for good for citizens the same way rat poison is good for rats.

Citizens United sucks. I wanted Joe Shmoe, who seems kind of honest, to win the Senate seat and go to Congress. But the fucking Supreme Court let XYZ corporation provide a billion dollars in advertising for a crook named Bernie Madoff running against him, and it totally sunk Joe's campaign. Now Madoff will haul in millions of dollars in bribes from XYZ and a bunch of their crony companies. America the Beautiful!

Citizens United by euphemismo March 21, 2010

citizens arrest 

A person acting as the law, making an arrest without being a law-enforcerer

Did you see him do a citizens arrest? He could get jailed!

citizens arrest by A person who tried. November 24, 2015

Citizens For A Responsible Curriculum 

A group of yokels afraid of homos and rubbers. Attempting to recall the School Board in the liberal Washington, D.C. suburb of Montgomery Couny (MoCo), Maryland.

Scared to death about the thought of their children being taught that gay people exist and being shown a video of how to properly put on a condom, using a cucumber.

Citizens For A Responsible Curriculum are a bunch of scared pussies and cunts who live in the Stone Age.

Citizens For A Responsible Curriculum by Hyacinth Bucket April 23, 2005

Upright Citizens Brigade 

Also known as "UCB." Improv comedy group/school in NYC. Had their own TV show for a while which kicked ass.

The UCB are responsible for such great things as Ass Pennies, The Poo Stick, The Hole in the Sheet, Captain Lunatic, Bong Boy, Thunderball, Supercool, The Bucket of Truth, and The Little Donny Foundation.

Their school has launched many a comedian onto an unsuspecting public, including Rob Corddry and Ed Helms of "The Daily Show."

(This was the intro to the show)

From the dawn of civilization they have existed in order to undermine it.

"Our only enemy is the status quo. Our only friend is chaos."

They have no government ties and unlimited resources.

"When something goes wrong, we are the cause."

Every corner of this Earth is under their surveillance.

"If you do it, we see it. Always.
We believe the powerful should be made less powerful.
We have heard the voice of society, begging us to destabilize it.
Antione. Colby. Trotter. Adair.
We are the Upright Citizens Brigade."

Upright Citizens Brigade by Colby October 18, 2004

Turkish citizenship 

When a person goes to Turkey to partake in sexual intercourse with the first prostitute they happen to meet after getting off the plane.

- So tell me Nick, are you still a virgin or?
- Yeah, but I’m going to get my turkish citizenship next week.
- Damn dude, congrats. I recommend bosnian citizenship tho.

Turkish citizenship by Greenbeard166 May 9, 2022

senior citizens

i'm a senior citizen i can't drive for my life. oh wait there's somebody behind me why don't i just cut them off cause i earned my drivers license all of 6 million years ago and i can barely see over the dash board.

get out of my way you gosh darn hoodlums. ups there's nobody behind behind me or at least i can't see tem cause i'm blind. here i go!!!!!

senior citizens by dubya January 22, 2004