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Christmas driver

a driver who only drives in the weeks leading up to Christmas. their car is parked and collects dust until next year, preserving the owner's useless driving skills.

They can be spotted amongst other Christmas driver's by:
- failing to indicate the intended direction of the vehicle to others
- failing to interpret traffic lights and signs
- failing to read the speed limit and apply the force required to the accelerator pedal
- failing to stay on the road
- failing to have been born with a brain
Yeah ok dickhead just cut me off! Fucking Christmas driver's man.
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Christian Driver 

A driver who stops to let people out of side turns and slows down so people may exiting parking lots without having to wait for a lull in traffic.
Christian Driver slows down, motions with hand.
Other Driver: Oh kewl, he is letting me in.

Diverticulitis Christmas 

When your colon is soooo full from all the holiday food and drinking that your colonic pockets fill up and get infected so bad that you have to go to the hospital
Diverticulitis Christmas: As in “damn that turkey, gravy, stuffing, cheese puffs, red wine, cranberry sauce, trifle, and Christmas cookies were so good that I plugged myself up and got diverticulitis.”

drive-by Christmas

The act of driving down the street and hanging out of the window, while whirling a present into the recipients yard shouting (in a Santa like tone) "Merry Christmas!". Drive-by Christmas.
Katie: Brian's whole family is out there!

Chris: Ok... (while sitting on the edge of a window holding onto the sway bars getting ready to huck a present into the yard)

The present lands side up in a foot of snow.

Drive-by Christmas.

Drive-Thru Christian 

Someone who takes up Christianity when it’s convenient for them. They want something quick; their foot’s on the pedal.
He invited me back to his place after bible study, but when we were drinking our beers he tried feelin up my thigh. Guess he’s a drive-thru Christian.
Drive-Thru Christian by Dolly Comma February 19, 2018
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