Jim: "Oh, my God. Did you see that guy hit on my girlfriend? He gave her a drink and smiled at her. He's totally trying to hit on her. I'm going to fight him."

Dave: "Calm your tits, Jim. He's the bartender."

Calm your tits by bassdude726 May 30, 2014

Calm your tits

A phrase we use when a fellow being is: stressed, anxious, freaking out, pissed off, raging, etc.
We can use other phrases such as "calm down", "take a chill pill", "I got chu", "take five", or "take a breather"; but "calm your tits" has the word tits in it and everybody loves tits. So therefore it is right and just to use "calm your tits" when somebody is about to rage.
However, "Calm your tits" is a PG 13 saying. If you are under the age of 13 please use the following:
- "soothe your boobs"
- "de-stress your breasts"
- "undo the calamity that is in your mammaries"
- "adjust your bust before it combusts"

Example #1 (for people above the age of 13)
*couple on phone*
Girlfriend: you liked her fucking instagram photo and rated her a 10 blah blah blah blah unfaithful blah blah ratchet blah blah blah no luv u no mo blah blah heartbrok-
Boyfriend: Babe, calm your tits. I gots you.
Girlfriend: *le sigh*

Example #2 (for people under the age of 13)
Mom: Why is there so many f*cking dishes in the sink Jimmy?! Didnt I tell you to feed the dog?! Where the f*ck is the remote! Make me a coffee and do your chores Jimmy or you're grounded for a month!
Jimmy: Adjust your bust before it

combusts.
*end of discussion*

Example #3
Tyrone: *takes off with Quinelle's weave without consulting*
Quinelle: *screams* Ackrite Tyrone! Dont fucking play around!! Get your ass back here right now!!!
Tyrone: Geez, Quinelle. Calm your tits. I was just playing around b...

Thank you for your time

Calm your tits by Quinelle April 7, 2014

Calm Yo Tits

slang for "calm yourself."

Girl: I AM MAD WITH THIS MATH TEACHER!!! SHE GAVE ME 70 IN MY REPORT CARD!!
Girl2: Calm yo tits.

Calm Yo Tits by mi19 March 19, 2011

Calm your tits

this phrase is used when someone you are with is too uptight to calm them down

judy: "oh my goodness my hair looks terrible today"
steve: "no, no it doesnt judy"
judy: "shut up steve, yes it does ahhhhh"
steve: "alright judy calm your tits"

Calm your tits by Sam Bell March 23, 2008

calm your tits

A term that is used towards someone who is being overdramatic or too enthusiastic about a simple topic or matter.

Dan: "Matt your swing is awful! Your only swinging with your arms, you have to shift your weight more" Matt: "Dan, calm your tits"

calm your tits by JPsKills10 July 7, 2010

Calm Your Tits

Soothe your Boobs - Destress your Breast - Adjust your Bust before it Combusts - Undo the Calamity that is your Mammaries - Give that Chest a Rest - Hakuna your Tatas (calmyotits.com)

- honey why you cheat on me?
- calm your tits

Calm Your Tits by titscalmer July 13, 2015

God Shot

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".

Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."

God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011

Word of the Day on September 18, 2026

city chicken

A food native to Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania in which cubes of pork and/or veal are put on a short, wooden skewer, breaded, then baked and/or fried.

I've heard that city chicken originated during the Great Depression, when folks didn't have enough money to buy full cuts of meat, so they assembled meat scraps on a wooden skewer, creating a make-shift drumstick. Hence the name.

Are yinz havin' city chicken for dinner?

city chicken by TRF August 31, 2006

Word of the Day on September 17, 2026

Is that cake?

Another way to say is this fake? Like the show real or cake

“Slayyyter just announced another album last night”
“No way, is that cake?”
“Yeah whoops this isn’t real”

Is that cake? by Sexyyred September 15, 2026

Word of the Day on September 16, 2026

just fokin missing her

native american reservation origin... to miss an ex so badly that everyone can see it.. can be used for either sex eg. just fokin missing her/him

friend : *noticably sad*
me : look at you all sad & shit
friend : shut up!
me : just fokin missing her huh?

just fokin missing her by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 15, 2026

endwarfins

The rush of neurotransmitters and neuropeptides triggered specifically by watching the Seven Dwarfs march home singing "Heigh-Ho" — that particular high of pickaxes, whistling while you work, and communal domestic bliss in a cottage built for men half your height.

I only meant to watch the Heigh-Ho scene for the endwarfins, and then it was two hours later and I'd watched the whole movie.

Endwarfins aren't just a Snow White thing — I get the same hit off the Lollipop Guild in Oz.

endwarfins by Howard Ogden September 13, 2026

Word of the Day on September 14, 2026

caillou

A slang term used to describe a bald person, typically someone who is completely bald or has a closely shaved head. The term is derived from the infamous, hairless kids’ cartoon character of the same name.

Example 1:
“Did you see that caillou over there? His head is reflecting the sun like a disco ball.”
Example 2:
“I think Dave is finally accepting his hair loss. He just went full caillou and shaved the whole thing off.”

caillou by WMH01 September 12, 2026

Word of the Day on September 13, 2026