Brooklyn Assault Rifle 

A Winchester model 1894 .30-30 rifle. This definition was created by the late Colonel Jeff Cooper.

Pansy ass liberals wring their hands and whine about "assault rifles," which, they say, are the favorite weapon of the Crips, the Bloods, and the Pachucos. A pansy ass liberal calls any black, ugly, semiautomatic rifle an assault rifle, which is like calling any black, ugly cat a dog. To keep from getting their pansy asses kicked, many liberals say they don't want to outlaw hunting or legitimate hunting rifles. Virtually all of those liberals will agree that a Winchester 1894 .30-30 is a hunting rifle. So there you have it: A wonderful, fast-shooting, accurate rifle just right for blasting Crips, Bloods, and Pachucos in defense of your home, your family, and yourself. This is the Brooklyn Assault Rifle. Get one today and start cleaning up your neighborhood while fooling your local pansy ass liberals.

Semiautomatic rifles will shoot faster than a Brooklyn Assault Rifle. But your .30-30 is far more accurate. With practice, you can shoot a Winchester 94 with great speed and accuracy.

You'll be able to keep your Brooklyn Assault Rifle after president O'Bama, the Irish Jig, confiscates all your handguns to keep you from hurting yourself when Pachucos invade your home.

Brooklyn Assault Rifle by Cap'n Bullmoose July 3, 2008