Bitch Trickery

noun \ˈbich ˈtri-k(ə-)rē\ - Tactics employed by females to lull a male into a false sense of security and/or arousal. The most prevalent of these tactics are:

1. The heavy use of make-up by a female who, with it, looks somewhat or even exceedingly attractive, but without it, looks like an opossum that was hit with a baseball bat wrapped in razor wire and then ran over by a truck set ablaze by the fiery wrath of Satan's piss. The male generally does not discover this until the morning after he has participated in sexually explicit acts with said female.

2. The online posting of pictures by females, generally only from their breasts up, that usually make them appear busty and/or attractive, but below the breasts suffer from conditions such as cottage cheese thighs, cottage cheese ass, obesity, or any combination of these and other physical maladies. The male generally does not discover this until the female has become emotionally attached to him and/or the friendship/relationship is taken beyond the internet.

(1) Dude, I went home with this hot chick from the club last night, and this morning awoke in the bed of a cave troll that appeared to have been struck by lightning and trampled by a herd of school buses. I'm a victim of some severe bitch trickery.

(2) Holy shit man, I started talking to this one girl online, she had a cute face, and the tits...my GOD the tits...they looked like Aphrodite shat them upon her chest and molded them...so damn hot...turns out when I met her that they were b-cups she must have had in one hell of a push-up bra, with spider veins and some serious cottage cheese ass. Bitch trickery at its finest. I need to go bleach my eyes.

Bitch Trickery by Guff August 22, 2012