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The best and most unique instrument ever made. It is easily the most hated on instrument in the band, but we know that everyone is just jealous of our amazing talent. Unless it is in the right hands, we sound like ducks with a chainsaw, but otherwise, we sound absolutely beautiful. We are stereotyped as geniuses without a life, but really, we are smart and are the life of the band. Due to our brains, when we are made fun of, our quick mind gives us an insult three times worse than an egotistic trumpets.
We're just awesome though.
Ew, is someone killing a duck?
No, that's just Bob trying to learn bassoon.

Wow, what is that angelic noise?
Only the best instrument ever; The bassoon!
by CoffeeAddict August 15, 2012
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Nov 27 Word of the Day
A stupid person; it refers to the lack of surface area on an individual's brain. The general thought is that the more surface area (wrinkles, creases, etc.) a brain has, the smarter the person is. Conversely, a person with a smooth brain (no wrinkles) has less surface area and would therefore be stupid.
That fucking smooth brain put his shirt on backwards again...

That smooth brain is dumber than a pile of shit.
by Tip Tank May 14, 2011
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probably the best instrument ever.
not a dying duck, but a cool thing.
very hard to play.
must be good at blowing and moving fingers fast.
also you loose breath fast and it's very expensive.
makes people jealous.
"whoa you're good at this"
"I play bassoon"
"ohh that's why!"
by coolbabboon February 13, 2009
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The larger of the two standard double reed instruments in the orchestra. It resembles a Victorian bedpost and one must have double jointed thumbs to play it! It can play in the bass range, however it's most lyrical range is in the tenor.
The bassoon starts the symphony off in the Sorcerer's Apprentice.
by macfanmd April 05, 2009
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The world's coolest instrument. Sounds like a dying duck fart, unless you know how to play. Which I do, so boo-yah. Also, as I've been told many many many many times, it looks like a bong. OK, I get it, move on with your life already.
Random Guy: Hehe... did you know your instrument looks like a bong?

Me: yes, the past 5 people to walk past have said that. But that still doesn't mean you can put drugs in it, you disrespectful bassoon killer.
by Me April 20, 2005
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The best instrument EVER. It produces a dark, round, rich sound which is very unique, especially in the upper register.

Though it is extremely difficult at first, once you get the hang of using your thumbs more it gets easy; but it requires hours of practice and perseverance.

Not only that, but Colleges and Universities are always looking out for good Bassoonists because they earn very good scholarships and are usually very intelligent.

Number one rule to play Bassoon: You need to have a sense of humor. :)
Colin: I want to play the Trumpet.

Karen: Oh, please! Bassoon owns Trumpet.
by Fagotist December 17, 2009
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A bassoon is a musical instument that some say looks like a bong. Traditionally, it's made of wood, but they can be made of this crappy plastic stuff. (plastic bassoons don't sound near as nice as the wooden ones.)

Bassoons produce a dark rich tone in the hands of an experienced player. However, anyone else sounds like they're killing a large beast.

Bassoons require a double reed.
He started playing bassoon last October and sounded terrible, but now he's great!
by Janetjet March 20, 2005
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