Skip to main content

Barney-guarding job

A job that requires absolutely no skill or talent, except for a complete lack of self-respect. Usually the kind of job one seeks after being fired from distributing flyers for a porno theater.

The term is derived from an episode from The Simpsons where Mr. Smithers, desperate for a job after being fired by Mr. Burns, inquires after a Help Wanted sign at Moe's. The job is pretty simple: distract Barney Gumbel until the midnight beer delivery is safely transacted. According to Homer, it's a job that many of them have only contemplated in the darkest moments of their lives.
Bill: Yo, how'd the job hunt go?

Evan: Terrible. I had to take an internship to a fishmonger.

Bill: Man, that's a Barney-guarding job.

Evan: I know. I think I'm going to bed. Don't bother me.
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.
More from Urban Dictionary
A US deep south term for an alligator. Usually used in the Cajun dialect.
Take the big pirogue, I saw a huge swamp dog out there earlier.
swamp dog by Crystal Ambrose May 22, 2006
Word of the Day on October 12, 2026

Throat Sweats 

The feeling and build up in your mouth/throat of saliva that sometimes accompanies nausea.
Oh man those burritos gave me the throat sweats, I hope I don’t have food poisoning.
Throat Sweats by TacoFings420 April 23, 2024
Word of the Day on October 11, 2026
Being ignored by someone when making a statement or asking a question. Also known as blanked and turfed.
Person 1: Did u watch ** last nite?
Person 2:......
Person 3: O no u got aired!
aired by Pietro February 9, 2005
Word of the Day on October 10, 2026

piddlefart

Instead of doing my homework, I decided to piddlefart around for two hours.
piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
Word of the Day on October 9, 2026
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
Load more