The Aynor Squat is the original incarnation of the Carolina Squat.
One lonely and humid night a redneck
wigger from UCLA (that’s Upper Conway-Lower Aynor), South Carolina got drunk on wood
alcohol and raised the front suspension of his pickup truck 4 inches while simultaneously lowering the rear suspension by 4 inches, resulting in a steep rearward rake. It caught on with his illiterate friends and has since spread to many other parts of the Carolinas, resulting in the later development of the Carolina Squat.
The Aynor Squat renders a truck completely useless for carrying a payload as well as makes it very dangerous to drive because of reduced visibility over the
hood and the headlights pointing at the sky.
The Aynor Squat is usually accompanied by worn, oversized mud tires, and in extreme cases of redneckness
may be accompanied by a white LED light bar up
top with either green or purple LED under-carriage lighting, although this option is only available in the extreme
wigger trim.
The absolute
top of the
redneck spectrum is when the Aynor Squat is paired with a Dog Bluff red paint
job. It is well documented that more trucks with the Aynor Squat are observed on Dog Bluff Road in Horry County, SC than any other road on
earth. “Dog Bluff Red” is strictly an after-market color and is only offered by the Krylon and Great Value brands of spray paint, and is only known to be routinely sold at the Aynor Dollar General and the Upper Conway Wal-Mart.
Look at the Aynor Squat on that 2005 Sierra. Can you believe that these morons think that’s cool?
Yes, I can. Don’t forget that we are in the heart of UCLA here. Also, did you notice that it was painted Dog Bluff red?
I sure did. I
hope they won’t reproduce. Maybe the wood alcohol sterilized them?
We can only
hope.
