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Assence - noun

Any type of odour that contains distinct noticeable characteristics which indicate that the smell originated from the rear end of a person or animal.
The severity of the odour can be of any degree.

"Assence" is formed by merging the words "Ass" and "Essence".

An assence may be the result of: flatulence be it post coital or otherwise, a Rippee, excretion, dogs, pigs or other dirty animals etc....
1: Remember that super hot chick from the dress shop? We had the most amazing date ever last night.
2: And?
1: We get back to her place and had the best sex I have ever had in my entire life, like intergalactic Avatar sex, I blew fireworks all over the wall.
2: And?
1: So afterwards we're lying there, basking in the afterglow when all of a sudden the entire place reeks. It reeks like a sewer in a bad neighbourhood where people only eat Indian food.
2: Now we're talking. Well, there can only be a few possible explanations for this and the first thing that comes to my mind is her vagina. Was it, like, rank dude?.
1: No!
2: That happens to chicks dude, that's why they invented the douche.
1: I thought they invented that so we had something to call you?
2: Very funny…
1: No, I'm just kidding. It wasn't her vagina. I have plenty of experience with rank vagina plus this odour has more of like an Ass Essence to it, an "Assence" if you will.
2: Was it you?
1: No bro, no way, not a chance. First off I never fart with a new chick until like the fourth date, third date maybe. Second off I have never in my life farted the smell of a rotten corpse. I would have to eat the corpse of a dead guy who just ate Indian food and then shit himself in order to fart a smell that bad.

Do you smell that assence?

You can smell an assence if you enter a toilet or restroom after someone had a dump.
Most noticeable in a club/bar or restaurant
Assence by rzhhhh November 23, 2011

audience of one 

focusing our performance--what we do, say, think... or not, so as to be acceptable to one person, individual or deity
Early Christians like the Apostle Paul who would rather face death than compromise their core faith beliefs, lived their lives for an audience of one.

Oprah audience

Mind-controlled, trained fawning seals who are in a constant state of rapture, hysteria and wet panties even before Oprah comes on stage. They're trained to laugh on cue like insane morons at everything she says or does no matter what, sometimes even before she says or does anything. Human canned laughter. Episodes of "Oprah's Favourite Things" are truly frightening to watch. The insanity levels are shocking. Get out of their way! Oprah, insane, stupidity, television, moron, Oprah audience
Oprah will say "Um...." and the audience is hysterical. She scratches her arm and they have an orgasm. Oprah, insane, stupidity, television, moron, Oprah audience
Oprah audience by velvet67 July 31, 2009

Audience typing 

When a person's typing abilities degrade when they must type in front of others, leading to misspelled words, improper capitalisation and most likely resulting in blushing.

Worse if that other person is an older relative or someone you respect.
Father asks, "Put Manchester United into Google there for me"

Son, "Sure"

Results in - "Manchetser UNited" being typed into Google.

This serves as a prime example of 'Audience typing' in action.
Audience typing by RoninRogue July 15, 2010

Television Audience Laugh 

A Television Audience Laugh (TAL) happens when someone makes a joke, gets no laughs from the people currently in the room but from the studio audience on the sitcom on the TV.
I made a joke one day and the Television Audience laughed for me.

Television Audience Laugh

Cock Audience 

This occurs when two people are having sexual intercourse and continue to do so even though a third person walks in. The two people participating in intercourse are now being cock audienced by the third individual.
Dude, my roommate totally cock audienced me last night
Cock Audience by Sluper Sooth January 21, 2011