Ascension Middle School 

Ascension Middle and Elementary School is a school full of bullshit. BULLSHIT I TELL YOU! it costs 6 thousand dollars a year to go there, and you STILL have to pay for lunch while George Washington’s corpse (the gym teacher) rambles on about how she shared one ball with her 72 brothers and sisters. The teachers are homophobes and one divorced her husband because he was bisexual. They will see you with some black dyed hair and will lecture you until the stupid kid named fucking xyleigh will crack a rotten egg on your head and tear out a patch of your hair. The Ursuline sisters are shit. The last one we had was in 1987. Also the fact that for SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS A YEAR, you still won’t be accommodated for being non religious. No Nancy Figglehorn the lunch lady, I don’t want to be in a church when I am Jewish. Just this year, they bought smartboards in place of all the perfectly fine whiteboards. The music teacher is annoying and one of them even locked a kid in a classroom for detention. they also would never give free lunch, even if a kid didn’t show up. It’s bad until you realize they were saving that kid. The spaghetti was crunchy on the outside, and WHO TOLD THEM CHEAP DEEP DISH WAS GOOD? it tastes, looks, and smells like a pile of shit. They didn’t even have effort to cook the mini waffles we sometimes got. The best thing they had was pizza sticks, just sticks with cheese inside. The janitors are the nicest people there.

Guy A: “My school really sucks. They make us eat oatmeal!”

Guy B: “Ascension Middle School is so much worse, they make us eat raw cranberries.”

Ascension Middle School by Ascension Is Homophobic July 28, 2022