Almond Boyfriend 

An almond boyfriend is a gymbro that has taken their protein intake and calorie count a little too far. They don't eat any flavourful food and all of their 'snacks' have added protein. This behaviour often affects their friends and partners, as going out for a meal or to the pub is as difficult as going out with a vegan. They are allergic to fun, won't eat any pasta, ice-cream, sweets and often, alcohol.

You can find snacks in their house such as: protein yoghurt, dried mango, psyllium husk powder, lentil crisps, nuts, lion's mane, skinny milk, cottage cheese, protein powder, graze oat bars, skyr, protein bars, overnight oats, protein cereal.

A typical Almond Boyfriend meal would consist of rice, boiled broccoli and no spice flesh colour chicken breast. No flavour must be tasted in the food.

Some people are gluten free. Almond Boyfriends are fun free.
Ben doesn't like fizzy drinks, he's an Almond Boyfriend.
I watch a movie with my Almond Boyfriend – he didn't have any popcorn so we ate dried apricots.
Jack doesn't cook with any spice, I think he's an Almond Boyfriend.

Almond Boyfriend by pumpkinspicedemon November 29, 2024