Adam Ritter 

Alternatively, the Adam Ritter can also be something to brag about. In fact many boys and men record, post, and compare their Adam Ritters in competition with one another with the largest recorded Adam Ritter from a female weighs 22 pounds and measures 28 inches and was produced from none other than Queen Elizabeth herself. However, this does not hold a candle to the largest Adam Ritter produced by a Male which weighed in at over 100 Katie Courics- Courics for short. A Couric is the standard measurement for Adam Ritters- one Couric weighs approximately 2.5 lbs. This massive 250-pound turd was produced anonymously and found via satellite on a deserted island in the Central Atlantic Ocean between New Guinea and Howland Island in the late 1930s. This Wonder of the world can be found at the Smithsonian between the T-Rex and Megalodon exhibits. It has its own room because it contains a slight gravitational pull due to its sheer mass. Conspiracy Theorists believe that the victim was actually engulfed by the massive Adam Ritter and is still trapped inside while some women believe that this was Amelia Earhart's last effort to signal a rescue plane before she died.

"I just completely brutalized that toilet with my massive Adam-ic Ritter Bomb, comparable to Hiroshima and Nagasaki."

Woman: "I thought my boyfriend and I were having an unplanned pregnancy, so you can only imagine my surprise when I birthed a beautiful 7 pound 7 ounce Adam Ritter Right into the hands of the Doctor. In doing so, I not only dodged a bullet with a baby but also recorded a new personal best poop with my new Adam Ritter which the doctors allowed us to keep and is now my prized possession paperweight at my work."

Adam Ritter by Tippy Top G January 23, 2023