assturd

my best friend assturd

omg its my bestie assturd

by super hot girl rawr xd December 4, 2021

assturd

after ass is cut, the definitive aroma of sweet, pungeant and spicy all at the same time, resembling a sandwich condiment. A multi-layered fart, such as a fine wine's profile.

Orinally found in the Seekers Mantown Dictionary

The air was so thick after Ken's fart that I felt compelled to swirl my pretzel rod into the assturd that he created.

by Plakk November 14, 2007

assturbation

To pleasure the anal cavity of oneself with the intent of sexual gratification.

I really wanted to go down on her last night, but when I got home she was in the middle of an assturbation session to the new Justin Timberlake video.

by decamel August 28, 2013

Assturbate

To bring oneself to orgasm by various acts of anal-simulation.

Vanilla masturbation doesn't work for me anymore, now the only way I can cum is if I assturbate.

by Tenshin_ April 7, 2016

Assturbation

Masturbation focused on pleasuring the butt, whether it be by massage or insertion.

Wow, this banana is frozen rock solid. I'm gonna have a good assturbation session tonight!

by Twiggins Q. Neugebauer June 20, 2011

Asstard

A male who goes around causing unnecessary drama, usually involving younger girls, particularly freshmen. As a self-proclaimed "Ladies Man (see Definition 3," an asstard typically spends a superfluous amount of time attempting to make himself look good for his company. This includes ridiculously expensive boy perfume, several cans of Axe(TM) deodorant, and driving a "tough" car without any regard to safety. (see car accident.) Additionally, an asstard tends to attempt to flatter other men and "impress" them with his own perceived "strength/coolness." Not only is this ineffective and hilarious, it also puts an asstard's sexuality into intense scrutiny. This is compounded by the fact that asstards are usually caught creeping and staring at younger men in bathrooms.

Prima: Who's that junior who only hangs out with freshmen?
Secunda: Who, him? Oh that's just Asstard, that's just how he rolls.
Prima: Haha, what a tool.

An Asstard is the synthesis of Asshole and Retard

by SeptemberLove December 18, 2010

assturbation

Masturbation restricted to the ass region. Usually performed by placing dildos, buttplugs, fingers, toothbrushes, or whatever else may be handy into the anal cavity. Lube is optional but highly recommended.

Suzy had never considered assturbation until she overheard Julie talking to Maria about shoving a 9 inch vibrator up her ass while fantasizing about Tom (Suzys dad).

by mindrape November 16, 2005