"Desert Gold" percent chance 

An alternate way of saying "0% chance" or "completely impossible". Coined after the imfamous "Desert Gold" vehicle skin scandal in EA's 'Battlefield 1', where the skin was found to be impossible to obtain from the ingame battlepacks.

Ken: Hey, what are the chances I'll get laid tonight?

Barry: A "Desert Gold" percent chance. You're an insociable twat.

"Desert Gold" percent chance by According to all known laws of January 2, 2017