How you describe a proposed recreational activity to a girl to alleviate most of her "automatic" (i.e., uncertainties that would typically occur to her "right off the bat" whenever anything unfamiliar is suggested to her) concerns .
Telling a cutie that, "It's easy, fun, free, legal, calorie-free, and won't get you pregnant" when you wanna give her an "all over" massage is fine and dandy,. but how can you be so sure that this will all be true? I mean, just **you** try and "keep it in your pants" when you have a luscious-fleshed girl lying naked and submissive in front of you!
by QuacksO January 4, 2020
Get the It's easy, fun, free, legal, calorie-free, and won't get you pregnant mug.Cop: "You're under arrest!"*handcuffs suspect and pushes him into the back seat*
Suspect: "Hey man, easy on the merchandise."
*Person 1 hugs Person 2 suddently*
Person 2: "Haha, easy on the merchandise."
Person 1: *sarcastically* "Shut up."
*Tourist picks up glass sculpture with little care*
Shopkeeper: "Hey! Easy on the merchandise, kid."
Tourist: "Sorry, no hablo chino."
Suspect: "Hey man, easy on the merchandise."
*Person 1 hugs Person 2 suddently*
Person 2: "Haha, easy on the merchandise."
Person 1: *sarcastically* "Shut up."
*Tourist picks up glass sculpture with little care*
Shopkeeper: "Hey! Easy on the merchandise, kid."
Tourist: "Sorry, no hablo chino."
by funny_occasionally January 18, 2018
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