The fat, frumpy, lonely woman who works the front desk at most medical or dental offices whose sole purpose is to keep sales people from accessing the decision-maker. This woman despises anyone who’s thin enough to see their own feet and dresses in only the finest fashions from Dress Barn, Lane Bryant or Torrid. To say she’s plus sized would be like saying Lizzo suffers from anorexia.
The savvy sales professional knows the weakness of the desk pig.. which is food and candy. She is powerless against the sacred aroma of a Panera Pick Three and will melt in your hands if you get her the Cream of Broccoli soup and her own dozen of Krispy Creams.
She doesn’t wear a name tag but you can be certain that her name is Kathleen, Cindy, Sandy, and of course Karen. Beware of her powerful ability to rudely look past your well tailored dress clothes and obvious college degree, Thea etchings don’t impress her. The only conversation she will engage in will be centered around where lunch is coming from or when the next Magic Mike movie is coming out. Never try to discuss business, the weather or exercise with the Desk Pig. 🐷
Assume the desk pig has at least 4 children, is divorced or was never married, lives in subsidized housing, and has at least one butterfly tattoo on her kankle or her wrist with some type of motto like “Live free or Die” or “ Burger King next Exit.”
The savvy sales professional knows the weakness of the desk pig.. which is food and candy. She is powerless against the sacred aroma of a Panera Pick Three and will melt in your hands if you get her the Cream of Broccoli soup and her own dozen of Krispy Creams.
She doesn’t wear a name tag but you can be certain that her name is Kathleen, Cindy, Sandy, and of course Karen. Beware of her powerful ability to rudely look past your well tailored dress clothes and obvious college degree, Thea etchings don’t impress her. The only conversation she will engage in will be centered around where lunch is coming from or when the next Magic Mike movie is coming out. Never try to discuss business, the weather or exercise with the Desk Pig. 🐷
Assume the desk pig has at least 4 children, is divorced or was never married, lives in subsidized housing, and has at least one butterfly tattoo on her kankle or her wrist with some type of motto like “Live free or Die” or “ Burger King next Exit.”
Hey Craig, I called on Dr X’s Endo practice today for the 17th time but that goddamn desk pig is a relentlessly mean and nasty whore who’s already consumes my entire annual lunch budget. What do I do to get past her and sell a system? I’m trying to save teeth and improve lives out here but this beast is a real air thief!
by BizarreRideonTheFarSide April 20, 2023
Get the desk pigmug. 
Noun. Verb. When a group of police officers meet at an undisclosed location, gather in a circle and helicopter their dicks. The person can helicopter the longest will the be named pig and have to roll on the ground in the circle of men.
by S.J. ANDER August 1, 2019
Get the pig swirlmug. a piggy bank, to badasses
by clevelandfuckingrocks December 17, 2009
Get the change pigmug. by Zippy kyay May 23, 2018
Get the Pig punkmug. the act of wrapping bacon around your dick and having sex with your girlfriend; using bacon as a condom and forcing your girlfriend to eat it after cumming; fucking your girlfriend so hard she squeals like a pig in his own shit
by SexyGod March 28, 2009
Get the angry pigmug. - PICTURE THIS SCENE: JAM PACKED BAR IN OZ!It is when you are trying to get a job in a bar in Australia and the only way to get it is by dancing on the bar ! BUT the other girl who eventually gets the job instead of you is skinny and an excellent dancer and dances with a chair on the bar but is UGLY, However all your friends are at the bar watching and screaming to the girl while you both dance on the bar for the job. They are screaming MOO PIG TROLL GET OFF THE BAR.
by Sally Callow/Lee Neumann January 11, 2009
Get the pig trollmug.