carpenter

the act of a woman giving a hand job while holding a piece of sandpaper.

"dude! i almost went to the hospital 'cause that bitch tried to give me a carpenter"

by stoak May 8, 2010

magic carpet ride

The act of driving home while too intoxicated to remember driving home the next day.

I don't know how I got home last night, but my car is in the driveway, so I must have taken a magic carpet ride.

by Ryan Faircloth January 13, 2006

Post-Free Bird Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

The feeling of intense pain in your left (or right, depending on which way you play) hand after playing the song "Free Bird" on Expert on Guitar Hero 2

Jim got the Post-Free Bird Carpal Tunnel Syndrome bad after he beasted the hell out of Free Bird today.

by Sky September 13, 2007

Cambodian Carpenter's Belt

Sexual maneuver whereby the male pulls out just prior to ejaculation, and drains his balls around the woman's waist. He then proceeds to affix lightweight tools that adhere when the payload dries.

Nick: Where'd your hook-up go from last night?
Rick: That bitch was straight blue-collar, so I gave her a Cambodian Carpenter's Belt. I sent that biggums out the door wearing some drill bits and garden twine.

by Gree December 14, 2008

Carper

An old derelict relic.

When your weapon is rusted your holding a carper.

by sandybottom498978979 March 5, 2009

Chewing the carpet

To lose emotional control.

Trump's really chewing the carpet again, isn't he...

by Chad Terbocks August 28, 2018

carpet music

Derived from the phrase carpet muncher, is used to describe singer-songwriters popular with indie women. Usually downbeat, vocal heavy and ladles of emotion.

A genre of music that will almost always result in any males in the vicinity changing the radio station, leaving the room, getting out of the car, asking "is everything alright".

IS: jewel, beth orton, ani difranco, new buffalo, fiest, cat power, missy higgins, aimee mann, fiona apple, dido,

IS NOT: mariah, britney, rihanna, fergie, the pussycat dolls

It's too early on a Friday for carpet music, especially Beth Orton.

by Chocolate Mudcake June 19, 2008