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masturbation

When a chick is sooo bad at the art of fucking that it's like masturbating while working out abs.
This intriguing phenomenon may also occur if she looks like a fish and smells like one too!
Me: Shit man! That cunt faced bitch was such a gimp! Felt like masturbation last night!

My friend: Duude! Kill her I say!
by Ultra-Ex August 5, 2008
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Masturbation

A sin that offends God
My son had masturbation today and now he worries me because he offended Jesus Christ My God.
by Ghosthunter7444 July 26, 2016
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masterbating date-imitater

The guy who imagines a whole date with a girl using his hand as the girl. He'll cook diner and then just makeout with his hand too scared to make a move, c,mon you know they exist....

.....also, he may put clothes on it, even name it
Doug: "Hey Rocco, remember Norb?"

Rocco: "Ya, man, he used to try and get me to talk to Julie, ...I mean his hand, ...really freaked me out man.

Doug: "Dude I know, he was a classic case of a masterbating date-imitater."
by deliverer of babys January 16, 2011
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insult masturbation

a self-inflicted diss
Jack: I'm ugly
Jill: My jokes aren't funny
Oscar: Stop with the insult masturbation, you two!
by yomommaisallama September 21, 2011
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daily masturbational

Daily masturbational, means, fulfilling the i.e. religious, or spiritual quota of the act of self pleasuring. On a daily basis.
Gotta go Gus.

Wait! Where are you going?!

I gotta fulfill my daily masturbational with Father Zed.

Good luck with that.

Thanks Gus, I will.

You will what...?
by ESPeciallyscientific November 4, 2018
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Intellectual Masturbation

How to do intellectual masturbation:
1. Idolize theory, even though reality doesn't necessary go along with the theory
2. Find people who are agreed with your point of view (groupthink, filter bubble, echo chamber), and shut down any competing point of view
3. Nurture a superiority complex, that you're an Übermensch, you're far more intellectual than 99.9999999999…% hoo-mans around the world, and dwell inside your ivory tower instead of helping people out from their problems
4. Use any unnecessary words, terms, jargons, acronyms, backronyms, or any language styles that makes you sound intellectual (even though nobody asked)
5. Interrupt and change any discussion topic to become something intellectual when nobody asked
6. Justify unnecessary paywall for accessing knowledge
7. Put other's feet on your own shoes (a.k.a give them unsolicited advices based on your understanding and experiences, ignoring other's experiences)
8. Read any books that makes you look intellectual, even though you don't understand what do you read, and quote it every time you discussing, even though you don't know what are you talking about
by Sir. B April 9, 2021
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National Masturbation Together Day

April 26 is an national masturbation together day! Go find your friend, your partner and masturbate together with them
Hey, wanna go masturbate?
What do you mean?
Its national masturbation together day!
by ttettettet April 25, 2021
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