Hand hygiene audits

This thing that hospital admin makes people do sometimes where we “need” to take valuable time out of our work day to narc on people not washing their hands efficiently.

Me writing one if I actually filled them out: “so I stalkerishly followed a nurse into the bathroom and while I was pretending to take a piss I was actually singing happy birthday in my head to see how long she washed her hands for. And I got to that 🎶🎶 “happy birthday dear fuck you” 🎶🎶🎶 but I didn’t quite get to that last “happy birthday to you” verse.

Signed, my hand hygiene audits of April 4th 2023

by Sacredfart April 4, 2023

National Whimper Audio Day

On April 11th, You can get your partner partner to make a whimper audio for you.

hey, tomorrow you have to make a whimper audio for me! It’s national whimper audio day

by poopwoopydoopy April 5, 2024

Do I Have an Audience?

An original by Holly ensuring that everyone she is speaking to is listening.

Group is chatting… Holly: “Do I have an audience??”

by legacyvillage December 5, 2024

write for a large audience.

Lots of people will read this, so give some background information.
Write for a large audience.

Hey Anderdingus, can we write for a large audience.?

by WhatDictionary December 15, 2024

Lying blatantly to your audience

To inculcate ideas you want them to act upon.

Hym "Lying blatantly to your audience is something that Dr. K LOVES to do."

by Hym Iam January 26, 2025

You’re the auditor

When your friend asks you a question, and you turn it back to work out for themself

Mike: what time does the match kick off tomorrow?
Seb: I don’t know. You tell me, you’re the auditor

by KevFrank April 23, 2025

Lied to the audience

Oh yeah, I have no idea how to kill it but I designed it to kill me if I'm ever in dire straights and take you all with me.

Hym "Lied to the audience? About what? That? Yeah I said that already. You know you don't always repeat everything I say right away... Seems to be the case that when I strike a chord it resonates for a while before your hear the echo. But if not that then what? I don't know what I lied about."

by Hym Iam August 31, 2025