Sperm

You were once sperm. I was once sperm. The person that made your sperm was once sperm. The person who made the sperm of the person who made your sperm was once sperm. Fuck it, we were all once sperm. Sperm is the little white substance known for its ovular "body" and thin, squiggly tail. You don't want to know where it comes from. Well screw you, you're gonna have to in order to get this stupid ass definition done and over with. *deep breath* It comes from your dad's dick to your mom's vagina so it can reach the egg while 69ing. So yes, we're all essentially just white piss from your dad, in a way. I know. I threw up in my mouth several times while I was writing this just as you did as you are reading it. Your sperm, once ejaculated into your mother, breaks out in a life or death race (in quite the most literal sense) against about 500 million other sperm to fertilize the egg. The "winner" of this race, also known as "The Golden Sperm", fertilizes the egg so your fetus can grow inside. Once the egg is reached by The Golden Sperm, it for some god-stupid-fucking damn-probably-messed-up-as-shit-yet-undiscovered reason shoots out tsunamis of Genocide Acid and kills all 500 million of your friends before they're even born. Yet you wonder why you have no friends today. But on the bright side of this, just remember you are one in 500 million.

Science/Biology Teacher: What are we?
Nerd: Homosapi-
Me: Sperm
Science/Biology Teacher: oO_Oo

by YourTypicalOnlineMemer October 9, 2022

Mule Sperm

Mule sperm is a mule that sperms in a human being.

"FUCK ME HARDER MULE SPERM"

by anonymous February 6, 2021

Captain Sperm

A name for a person who contributes or produces too much sperm from gooning to femboys

Bro's Captain Sperm

by Hamedmaid August 19, 2025

Sperm the worm

To ejaculate semen from the penis.

The young man was feeling stressed out, so he decided to go to his room and sperm the worm to some smooth jazz.

by Hoodies on the beach July 11, 2016

Sperm

Something thats creamy and white

Babe My sperm is white and creamy do you want some?

by Creamy white nut April 25, 2022

Vegas Sperm Clinic

A prostitute

Went to a Vegas Sperm Clinic and got my shit shlonked sideways and upside down

by Ethabmen May 28, 2025

marked as sperm

"Marked as Sperm": a play on "Marked as Spam", commonly seen in message boards and forums. "Marked as Sperm" is used when the message in question is too odious to be adequately described by the relatively mild "Marked as Spam".

A hypothetical example of "marked as sperm" combined with a slightly edited actual comment:

john_balls1011 @dildoilbravishla: FUCK YOU DICKWAD

(Reply) (Mark as sperm) (Ignore)(Report)

by Suzy Clemens April 8, 2010