The stuff I find in my jammies in the morning that tastes like mushrooms. Note: Traditionally the noun "
sperm" is one of many English nouns that does not take the pluralizing 's', serving as both the singular and plural form (not unlike "
goose," "
moose," and "penis"). Recently however, several prominent sperm doctors, policy analysts, and kindergartners have begun experimenting with the more commonsensical--though admittedly jarring--"sperms" (See William Safire's "Whoppers Junior and Sperms
Whale" for a more thorough discussion). One lexicographer has noted, as a recent variant of the ubiquitous "Kilroy was here" graffito, the emergence of "Kilroy's sperms was here." Debate has sprung up in certain circles whether the singular verb here is a deliberate, if
cheeky, attempt by
urban wordsmiths to keep the state of the language in play as an ironic gesture of postmodern insouciance regarding the moribund strictures of prescriptive
grammar, and as a Nietzschean celebration of linguistic, and therefore metaphysical, uncertainty, or whether it's simply a mistake.
"Mommy, I found more sperms in my jammies this morning. They taste like
mushrooms." "Capt. Thomas, hoping to avoid impregnating his
wife, sexited his member from her love-tunnel and loosed his sperms on his nearby pirate
hat."
