Jesus shit

Great profanity for stubbing toes, realising you haven't paid your rent, seeing the bus you were supposed to catch drive by through the window, exclamation in the middle of an amazing story and discovering that your house is on fire

Person 1: Dude is that your house that's on fire?
Person 2: Oh my god thats my house that's on fire?
Person 1: Your house is so on fire right now.
Person 2: Jesus shit my house really is on fire right now.
Person 1: You should probably do something about that.
Person 2: I think your right, i should probably do something about that.
Toby: Is that your house thats on fire, Person 2?
Person 1 and 2: Shut the fuck up Toby! Jesus shit...

by Person's 1 and 2 (Toby's dead) February 4, 2010

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Sweet Jesus

Laying eyes on an incredably hot girl, who is just a little bit too young for you, and expressing your sexual interest with a "Sweet Jesus!!"

Sitting outside the pub and a group of scantily clad 17 year old girls walk past. Someone pipes up "SWEET JESUS!..." and everyone looks round to have a gander.

by Hartles September 7, 2010

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Jesus Burrito

A Burrito made by Jesus. The holiest burrito known to man. Also see Moses Taco.

"Man, eating a Jesus Burrito is like going to church everyday for a month straight and then getting really bad gas."

by Joseph Mihalski February 5, 2004

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Jesus

The immortal zombie carpenter who, if you ask him nicely through his telepathic powers, will grant your wishes. He is one third of an almighty being who was sent to earth to be killed mercilessly so that said almighty being could forgive us for something he made us do, something which, being almighty, shouldn't have been quite so troublesome in the first place. In addition to asking politely, some believe it is necessary to indulge in cannibalism, eating Jesus' flesh, to be forgiven and go to heaven. Physically, Jesus may have looked similar to Jim Morrison, although many would contend he was in fact black.

Friend: I'm going to go eat some of Jesus and ask him and his father not to send me to eternal damnation for something my great great great etc. grandparents did.

Me: Have fun at Mass!

by LordofAllPrepositionalPhrases December 15, 2008

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jesus crispy

1) n. a religious automaton
2) n. a dogma spewing host of one of any potent viral meme complexes, for example, organized religion, political affiliation, or scientific paradigm.

John Ashcroft was annoitied with Crisco oil after he was appointed Attorney General. Dear God, now we have a Jesus crispy setting public policy. "Let the Eagle Soar" and the end come soon.

by Alienthropologist October 22, 2004

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Jesusplosion

1. (n.) a burst of one Jesus or multiple Jesi from a single and relatively compact location.

2. (n.) a sudden and violent outburst of love for the Christ Man that results in bodily rupturing, sometimes internal but usually also external, and often on a large scale.

3. (n.) a sudden and violent outburst of love for the Christ Man that results in ejaculation, often on a large scale.

1. Look, Timmy's having a Jesusplosion! Look at all the tiny smiling Jesi that are streaming out of his bloody, ragged corpse on their way to the Promised Land.

2. A particularly intense Sunday morning service by Mr. T caused a righteous and massive Jesusplosion today, killing hundreds of devout churchgoers.

3. A particularly intense Sunday morning service by Mr. T caused a righteous and massive Jesusplosion today, satisfying hundreds of devout churchgoers.

by Lord of the Fries May 2, 2006

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