Crank The Hog

Masturbating aggressively, often times in a corporate setting

“I mean hey man, I don’t have a real job so what else am I gonna do other than crank the hog for 2 hours in the bathroom?” - Gebge

by anonymous June 16, 2025

The Crank

A spasm that attacks young men aged 12-18, those who “Crank” average around 5-10 cranks per 5 minutes.

“Look he’s cranking it”
“That was a aggressive crank”
“OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE CRANK”

by NúzNation January 8, 2020

crank salad

when you mix a little but of multiple kinds of weed (concentrates/manufactured allowed NO SYNTHS OR EDIBLES!!!!!)

Oh man we're gonna smoke some crank salad

by Ritz Scythe March 19, 2021

Triple jingle crank

A made up term helping innocent girls avoid coming to terms with the fact they just jerked off two guys to failed execution

Chad: Lauren just ski poled us
Mart: yea
Lauren: come sign this flag commemorating our triple jingle crank

All: wtf

by EggieOnAHeggie September 10, 2021

Pokey bum posh asphixi crank

Pokey bum wank

+

Posh wank

+

Asphixi wank

+

Cry and a wank

=

All the emotions

“Any plans this evening?” she asked.
“Probably try a pokey bum posh asphixi crank.” I replied.

by Diamonds & Crowns September 4, 2022

crank the hog

The most aggressive style of masturbating your chode, resulting from one not getting laid.

Yea boys, sorry I'm late. My girl was being a bitch and told me she flicked her bean earlier...So I had a crank the hog.

by fortsorcrankhog April 2, 2024

Anne Crank

Anne Crank, an “angry cry wank”

Angrily stimulating one's genitals with one's hand for sexual pleasure while simultaneously weeping.

Example 1: I am hiding in the attic, the nazis are banging at the door, I am angry, upset and masturbating vigorously. I’m having an Anne Crank.

Example 2: Lee seems very angry and upset today! Maybe he should go for an Anne Crank!

Example 3: After a long, hard, stressful day at work, all Harry wanted to do when he got home was have an Anne Crank.

by JittyMan November 1, 2022