When markiplier jorks it
"I am not cranking it" - markiplier, "Five Nights at Freddy's: The Secret of the Mimic - Part 2" ts15:22
by froggyfroggy2000 June 19, 2025
Get the Cranking itmug. When a girl blows in your asshole during a handjob which builds up enough pressure for a volcanic explosion of a cumshot. The man lays back and lifts his legs up for access to the asshole.
1. When that girl gave me the crank and blow last night it made me erupt.
2. Yo I heard Quez got a crank and blow last night. I wish I could get a girl down for that.
3. My one dream in life is to get a crank and blow from a baddie.
4. Holy shit Grant got a crank and blow in his car last night.
2. Yo I heard Quez got a crank and blow last night. I wish I could get a girl down for that.
3. My one dream in life is to get a crank and blow from a baddie.
4. Holy shit Grant got a crank and blow in his car last night.
by Jomojames23 March 16, 2023
Get the Crank and Blowmug. A half-functioning fishing captain powered by nicotine, meth, and pure coastal paranoia. Captain Crank is the guy screaming about government satellites while freebasing off tin foil in the engine room of a rusted-out commercial boat—or chain-smoking through a guided trip while cussing at seagulls and mumbling about “the deep state tracking red snapper migrations.”
Not to be confused with an old salty dog—Captain Crank isn’t wise, he’s wired. You’ll know him by the jerky hand movements, a permanent squint (either from sun damage or sleep deprivation), and the overwhelming scent of bait, diesel, and regret.
Spotting Characteristics:
- Yellowed mustache from years of inhaling tinfoil smoke
- Boat held together by zip ties, duct tape, and spite
- Knows exactly where the fish are… but won’t tell you unless you “wake up to what’s really going on”
- Listens exclusively to ham radio frequencies and Joe Rogan clips from 2016
- Will fight you and the harbor patrol if you touch his bait cooler
Common Habitats:
- Commercial fishing boats with suspicious burn marks near the bilge
- Charter docks where someone just got fired or disappeared
- VFW bars with broken pool tables
- Forums arguing that fish finders are government mind-control devices
Not to be confused with an old salty dog—Captain Crank isn’t wise, he’s wired. You’ll know him by the jerky hand movements, a permanent squint (either from sun damage or sleep deprivation), and the overwhelming scent of bait, diesel, and regret.
Spotting Characteristics:
- Yellowed mustache from years of inhaling tinfoil smoke
- Boat held together by zip ties, duct tape, and spite
- Knows exactly where the fish are… but won’t tell you unless you “wake up to what’s really going on”
- Listens exclusively to ham radio frequencies and Joe Rogan clips from 2016
- Will fight you and the harbor patrol if you touch his bait cooler
Common Habitats:
- Commercial fishing boats with suspicious burn marks near the bilge
- Charter docks where someone just got fired or disappeared
- VFW bars with broken pool tables
- Forums arguing that fish finders are government mind-control devices
“We thought he was just passionate… until Captain Crank started yelling about fluoride in the chum.”
“Captain Crank brought us to the fish, but also brought a .38 and a full-blown manifesto.”
“If you smell burnt foil and hear something about ‘the government stealing our swordfish,’ turn around—that’s a Captain Crank.”
“He didn’t use sonar. He said he ‘felt the vibrations in his fillings.’ I’m never chartering with Captain Crank again.”
“Captain Crank brought us to the fish, but also brought a .38 and a full-blown manifesto.”
“If you smell burnt foil and hear something about ‘the government stealing our swordfish,’ turn around—that’s a Captain Crank.”
“He didn’t use sonar. He said he ‘felt the vibrations in his fillings.’ I’m never chartering with Captain Crank again.”
by Pary Moppins August 3, 2025
Get the Captain Crankmug. To promise to absolutely obliterate an opponent, only for you to be obliterated.
(see PulverizeR, Robot Wars Extreme 2)
(see PulverizeR, Robot Wars Extreme 2)
by wood pigeon October 29, 2025
Get the Cream your crankmug. The room (bedroom commonly) of a lonely, depressed, young adult male who masturbates aggressively and often.
by PervertedPatrickStar69 January 21, 2024
Get the Crank Cavemug. Term used to describe cranking one out on a cold morning while in the relative warm cocoon of your bedsheets
Man it was freezing this morning..I couldn't even knock one out?
I know bruh, you should try a cold crank
I know bruh, you should try a cold crank
by Theautisticwerewolve December 4, 2016
Get the Cold Crankmug. An adjective, with its origins in inter-city Atlanta, is used to refer to someone that is acting in a manner similar to that of someone who is high or on methamphetamine.
by BamBam_ShoelessMan July 18, 2016
Get the Crank Ass Niggamug.