Turtus

An amalgamation of tortoise and turtle, often used by people with mental retardation who cannot tell the difference.

That turtus was swimming so swiftly beneath the azure waves. By the way, I am mentally retarded

by Scarab Mcarab August 18, 2010

juggling turds with wet hands

Carrying out several tasks at the same time, none of which are easy but none of which are impossible, whilst in circumstances which are not particularly favourable to completing the task.

It's like juggling turds with wet hands!

by Ian Chode September 13, 2003

Niggy Tardust

Grippo King, philosopher, and artist.
Downright to the marrow, he’s the arrow through the heartless.
Sunlight in the afternoon, his shadow travels furthest.
Woven through the heart of doom, he’s bursting through the surface.
Hardly nervous, suffice to say, he understands his purpose: Threshold King of everything, a comical absurdist.
Sometimes when he talks he sings, yet keeps his high notes wordless.

When I say Niggy, you say nuthin. Niggy Tardust.

by Toussaint May 25, 2008

turdsplash

1) When you're slamming a duece (pooping), and the turd enters the toilet with enough velocity to cause the toilet water to splash up and hit you in the ass.

Meghan: Honey, why is your ass all wet?!?
Troy: I was taking a huge shit and experienced massive amounts of turdsplash!

by Liquid Plumber January 27, 2010

tickle my turds

An expression of encouragement from a passive gay partner (or possibly from a female buggeree) indicating that they are ready and willing to have their drains cleaned.

"Never mind those celebrities in the jungle, Ant, come back to bed and tickle my turds!"

by Bob Sometimes March 23, 2005

turducken

1) (n) An American Thanksgiving holiday culinary grotesque: Consists of a chicken, stuffed into a duck, progressively stuffed into a turkey and baked. Provides hours of entertainment in the form of waiting for the sucker to finish cooking and enough sandwich meat to last through The Apocalypse.

2) (n) Any obese human that will set upon a buffet like a plague of locusts, stripping said buffet of all edible material, leaving only the garnish, the decorative toothpicks, and the sweaty cheese cubes from earlier in the day.

3) (n) Any plan that is unnecessarily complicated or futile. Used as a simile.

1) "Time for the Cowboys/Redskins game, is the turducken done yet?"

2) "Uh oh, better hit the foodline before turducken over there strips that bitch."

3) Jeff: "I'll be swapping out this small-block, V8 for an straight six."
Dale: "Baking up a turducken are we?"
Jeff: "What?"
Dale: "Sounds like fun."

by Chumbucket October 31, 2006

mascara turds

Dried up flakes of mascara that fall from one's lashes throughout the day and land and rest on the undereye area like little turds.

Damn, my mascara is so old that it's leaving mascara turds under my eyes.

by mmmkayyy April 2, 2005