Otis Award

Otis on Andy Griffith.

Roger: Boy, you sure were hammered last night.
Carl: Sorry man, thanks for getting me home.

Roger: When you fell asleep eating your chicken wings at the bar the guys said you get the Otis Award tonight.

by cut the cards December 12, 2022

CPP Award

CPP is an abbreviation for "Condom on the Prick of Progress",
so a CPP Award is a special honour reserved for bureaucrats and public officials who because of their position retard progressive behaviour or outcomes by their stupidity and incompetence. Companion awards include the Darwin awards for those who kill themselves in spectacular fashion, and the Ig Nobel Prize for unusual or trivial "achievements" in scientific research.

CPP Awards should be issued to the US border control authorities taking a flight crew member into custody delaying a flight for three hours for taking an orange on an aeroplane, a local government planning official that manages to string out a 60 day town planning approval application to 2 years by successive iterations of miniscule objections requiring additional information and to a police officer charging a local citizen with theft for removing discarded items from a roadside trash collection point.

by Whistleblower2 April 15, 2011

Darwin Award

Charles Darwin believes in natural selection, weaker beings die, stronger ones survive and reproduce to live another day. The Darwin Award is handed out on the internet usually to people who post videos on youtube demonstrating their purest skills at being a retard putting his or her life on the line.

Darwin is watching. This one has potential for a Darwin Award.

by simio January 16, 2008

Safety Award

Anything you steal from work because you need it at home. You tell your boss that you gave it to a crew member as a Safety Award.

Check out this new knife I got from work as a Safety Award.

by Steelheader December 18, 2008

VMA Award

An award given to a female after successfully having sex with her in order of Vagina, Mouth, then Ass...or at least we HOPE in that order. (similar, albeit somewhat cleaner than ATM (Ass To Mouth))

Man to friend: "A chick I was with last night definitely won the VMA award. I was impressed."

by peachykeen21 July 28, 2009

Logan Award

a award given out for somebody doing something stupid

Telling a very bad story and thinking it is funny would qualify you for the Logan Award.

by therealtork May 4, 2010

Roflcock Award

This award goes to any joke or situation worth roflcocking at. Its a coveted award as things worth a roflcock are very few and far between.

Did you hear that Lorrena Bobbett joke that Jim Stewart threw down last nite?

Ya that was totally Roflcock Award material there.

by rmarz247 May 30, 2008