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tending cattle

Going to the bar with the intention of picking up a hot chick...then going home with a fat girl.
Im hungry like the wolf, but I'll end up tending cattle. -BHG
by JJames September 17, 2005
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texting

The common practice of typing messages on a cell phone to recipients, rather than just just take the twelve seconds to call someone. Most often performed by teenage girls, these messages often include such front page news as: "OMG did U C her @ss? Itz HGE" or perhaps the ever-popular "WTF? Dani just broke up wit James!!!11!"

These messages are often life-changing, as it seems that nobody ever actually speaks to one another anymore.

My favorite example of the texting is when a teenage girl is driving, head bent down facing her cell phone, as she texts while in traffic. Young teenage girls are considered the best drivers, so surely something as simple as texting would never take away from their near-perfect driving skills. This is often proven by the practice of never using turn signals, as telling Katelyn about when to pick her up at the mall is WAY more important than letting the cars behind you know that you are about to cross three lanes of traffic.

All in all, perhaps a few head-on collisions and loss of driving privileges will be a good little lesson to the self-absorbed teenagers of today.
Texting girl driver: LYK OMG did U C TWILIGHT YET? ITZ SO FREAKIN KILL!

*sound of cars skidding to a halt and 5 car pileup*

Texting girl driver: OH MY BAD. SRRY BOUT DAT.
by Senor Musk May 5, 2009
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toilet texting

Guy 1: "Dude, I'm totally toilet texting you."
Guy 2: "Sweet, I toilet texted Fred earlier."
by TehAwesomeUD April 28, 2007
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texting courtesy

Verb
The act of texting someone back when they give you a bullshit response like "k"or"lol".
I hate when people text back stupid responses but i have to use texting courtesy.
by Nukanukanuka April 12, 2010
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Texting bitch face

Similar to resting bitch face, but with texting. This usually happens when you end your texts in periods or don't use emoticons, which makes the person you're texting think you're pissed at them.
Person 1: (text) Party at Jeff's tonight! See you there?
Person 2: (text) K.
Person 1: (text) Do you not want to go, or is that just texting bitch face?
by Pistachioed March 30, 2015
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hole tending

Goal-tending, in basketball, is the act of blocking the ball right before it goes in the basket. Hole-tending is right before you stick your dick in a girls pussy or asshole and she rejects the insertion
Bob: Yo, did you get laid last night?
Steve: I thought so, but that cock-tease was hole tending.
by DCo311 November 15, 2010
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stop light texting

Stop light texting is the act of sitting in your car, at an (ideally) long stop light. This is the perfect opportunity to check email, update your FB and scroll through your social media. Typically, if you have teens or children in the car, the act of stop light texting will be rudely interrupted by younger people telling you to stop!
"MOM, stop texting and driving!"
"OMG, I'm stop light texting, leave me alone! Sheesh. You are so over-schooled in this topic!"
by Funny Moms October 26, 2016
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