retired

The feeling of being both tired and retarded at the same time. The feeling usually occurs at work on a Monday after binge drinking all weekend.

"Holy crap, I am so retired."
"Dude, seriously you are freakin' retired!"

by Maweasal February 29, 2008

Columbian Retirement Package

A kilo of cocaine.

Guy #1: Ey cabron, it looks like you got a Columbian Retirement Package.
Guy #2: Obama ain't helping the esse's so we gots to make our own retirement package, there ain't no 401(k) with benefits like these holmes. The best part is it's 100% tax free.

by Great White Unicorn June 1, 2009

Born to be Retired

Working your entire career in boring, mundane (usually government) jobs, always dreaming about retirement. Total employment aspirations include nothing more than to putting your time in and finally retiring.

Hey, Sue, How is retirement going?
Oh, I was born to be retired!

by SueCQ March 7, 2011

Retirement

Retirement is viewed as "a time of happiness" by 82% of people in Britain - much higher than the global average.

I think that i will really enjoy my retirement

by Tom Elgie June 18, 2006

retired hoe

When u used to be a hoe but now u aren’t single but u still talk about hella snacks because your a retired hoe

Damn Edith be fucking will but she still talks about hella guys cuz she a retired hoe

by Who’surdaddy69 February 2, 2018

retired police car

A car that scares the crap out of you when you see it and are speeding ( or breaking any other law )and makes you slam on your brakes and late for work because of the massive heart attack you just had.

Person 1. Stupid alarm clock didn't go off again, I hope I don't see a cop (They're going 70 in a 50 zone)
Person in a retired police car is doing the same speed you are and makes you slam on the brakes because all you seen was black and white. MEASSAGE OUT TO ALL PEOPLE READING!!!! buy a radar gun. lol i did and it works great.

by SCARED OF RETIRED POLICE CARS May 1, 2005

retired geezers

Old retired guys who have too much time on their hands.
They are characterized by a lack of patience, which is surprising considering the fact that they probably have nothing better to do than watch Family Fued.
Quite often they start their own blog.

Retired Geezers are the guys with the little change purse in their pockets, who insist on counting out the exact change in the checkout line ahead of me. Usually they get it wrong or don't have the correct amount.
"Dude, that's what they pay the Clerks to do".

by Retired Geezer June 1, 2006