Midwest Lollipop

An alternative to I-70 or I-80 road head. The name for the act of getting suddenly blindfolded and tied up by your girlfriend in a two-star midwestern hotel off the highway; so she can whack you with a potholder, then fellate and ride your lollipop, while you lie there unable to thwart her fast food and White Claw-fueled demands.

“It was a long drive back to Colorado, but I gave him the Midwest Lollipop to break up the monotony.”

“Driving through the Midwest is tediously boring, but the GF gave me the Midwest Lollipop when we overnighted in Omaha.”

“Welcome to Iowa. Home of the Midwest Lollipop.”

by MammaCitaMeowMeow March 18, 2022

Midwest Fine

In the Midwest, particularly Minnesota, the word ‘fine’ when used like “Yea I’m fine” or “Oh that’s fine” doesn’t mean that something is truly fine, it translates roughly to “nothing is going right and everything is shitty”

Fine could be considered a more subtle version of “could be better”

Person 1: That crash was rough, you ok?
Person 2: Oh yeah I’m fine
Person 1: Is that fine fine or midwest fine

by nothingneko June 22, 2023

Midwest Slimfast

Word for the drug methamphetamine

Phil: "Ben's been up for 4 days what's wrong with him?"
John: "He's on that midwest slimfast."

by captain_ice October 20, 2020

midwest friendly

It's like a 1950s sitcom. Everyone acts like they're your neighbor.

Molly is visiting from Portland and described Illinoians as Midwest friendly.

by Shans430 May 5, 2023

showbiz midwest

Really sexy and hot. CRYSTAL LAKE

Showbiz Midwest is hot!

by pagjrbtrfb December 20, 2021

Midwest Iraqi

When you have horrible gas, so you get in your vehicle and crank the heat on high, fart and procees to rub one out in the stink to remind you of the times you mastubated in a porta potty in 115 degree heat in Iraq.

I was bored at work today and went and pulled a Midwest Iraqi during lunch break.

by SSGBB December 15, 2020

Midwest Excursion

When someone spreads your cheeks (In the Midwestern region of the United States) and inserts a large object inside of your anus.

Jacob hit Justin with the Midwest Excursion when he was told they won't be sharing a room in Minecraft. Safe to say he won't be walking the same for a few hours.

by Taybur August 8, 2023